Why Do You Even Care?
by KatPeeta23
Summary: I have feelings, and if you could read my mind, you would cry yourself to sleep, too. Just like I do every night. This story is going to be sad for the first few chapter but it will definitely pick up.
1. Chapter 1

Today is going to suck, just like every other day in my life.  
>"Do you want breakfast before school honey?" Mom asks.<br>She already knows the answer; no. I don't eat breakfast. I'm skinny from an eating disorder; I cut myself to let out emotions because I'm bullied constantly.  
>I don't like speaking. It's hard for me. I shake my head and walk out the door.<br>I hear her start crying. "Well have a good day!" She calls after me.  
>Not likely.<br>She cries every day I leave and honestly, I feel bad. I get in my blue Ford Fusion Hybrid.  
>I've been completely depressed and suicidal and bipolar with an eating disorder and self-harming since I was in the sixth grade and eleven years old and my best friend turned her back on me, now I am seventeen and in my senior year of high school.<br>Mom and Dad do care, they really do. The problem is I am un-healable. They have tried every single medicine under the sun, spent thousands on therapists, sent me to countless support groups, I've been to rehab three times, I moved in with my grandma.  
>Nothing works.<br>My parents are so sad. I can see it. I want to get better but the thing is...I don't think I actually know how to.  
>I want to smile a real smile and a real laugh. I want to stop cutting myself.<br>But the bitch Glimmer and her whore friend Clove send me to near breaking point each day.  
>Nothing is working; I've upset my entire family. It's best to just leave. I'm going to make the jump tonight. It's not like they will miss me.<br>I have to speak today and interact with people because a high school burnt down and we're getting most of the students from there because our school is really under populated. The seniors each get assigned a senior and we have to show them around the school and to their classes.  
>It would be so each to just drive into a tree as fast as my car will go.<br>I don't do it though. Why should I?  
>I live in Bloomington, Illinois. It's January and it's in the negatives and I honestly don't care. I'm careful of the slippery road.<br>I pull into my parking lot and duck my head as I trudge into the school. I've got a yellow iPhone with the life proof case. I don't use it as a phone except for family members because I don't have a single friend.  
>When the doors shut behind me, the lunch room goes silent, and the issue with senior year is that my uncle Cinna is the principle and he always keeps his eyes on me.<br>My grades are terrible even though I try real hard. I hear Glimmer's stupid laugh. I can sometimes have a violent bipolar attack and I clench my hands in fists in the pocket of my sweatshirt on my way past as I resist the urge to pound her head onto the floor. That could probably kill her though. "What? Your just going to run away to your little girlfriend, you lesbian!" She laughs evilly and almost everyone else in the cafeteria does to.  
>That's stupid. She knows I don't have a girlfriend because I always am by myself. She also knows I am straight because we were best friends and we used to giggles about cute boys back in the fifth grade; before everything went downhill.<br>Well that equals one cut, doesn't it?  
>I cover my hands with the sleeves of my sweatshirt and walk over to the lunch table all the way in the corner and put my head down.<br>When the first bell rings we are all to report to the auditorium. For now, kids I don't know are here and they all see what Glimmer does and I know that they probably think it's hilarious, just like everyone else. "She's so fucking ugly! I bet she hasn't showered in a month!"  
>Everyone bursts out laughing again. Well there's cut two, and I haven't even fucking been here five fucking minutes.<br>Of course I've showered. I've always been a neat freak and I spend my time crying and cleaning things that are always completely clean. If I'm not doing that, then I'm sleeping.  
>She keeps shooting rude words, and I want to get better so desperately that I need to stop hearing the words, so I dig my earbuds from my bag and shove them into my phone and then my ears.<br>And then I blast the Jonas Brothers. I don't care if they are an old band, I love all three of them and their little brother. I love Demi Lovato. I really look up to her.  
>My head rests on my arms, and I won't hear the bell even when it rings.<br>After a couple of minutes, somebody taps my shoulder. I ignore.  
>They tap my shoulder again, more insistent. I look up. It's a girl with green eyes and black hair. She's got three others with her. One has dark short hair and brown eyes. She looks ready to kill everybody, one has bronze hair and green eyes and one has blue eyes and blond hair.<br>I pull out my earbuds. "The bell rang..." The girl with dark hair trails off. I shut off my music and rip out the earbuds and shove them in my bag. I don't bother putting my phone away, simply because my Uncle Cinna, who is the principle knows that music is the only thing that calms me down. He knows that, and he's notified the teachers of my problems so I am allowed to have my phone out whenever I want unless I'm testing. I stand up and sling my bag over my shoulder. "I think it's really mean what that girl says about you. The fact that everyone laughs is just cruel. You don't deserve that. I'm Annie Cresta." She sticks her hand out.  
>I force myself to shake it. "Katniss Everdeen." I mumble. My throat hurts from not talking at all.<br>"That girl is a real bitch," the girl with short dark hair says.  
>"I know..." I whisper.<br>"I'm Johanna Mason." She sticks her hand out. I force myself to shake it, too.  
>"By the way, beautiful, you are not ugly." The guy with bronze hair says. "Not at all." He smiles and I feel extremely uncomfortable. "Finnick Odair." He kisses the back of my hand.<br>The guy with blond hair looks upset about something. "I'm Peeta Mellark." He shakes my hand.  
>"We're going to get in so much trouble." Annie whispers because the late bell just rang. I stop by the vending machine and they follow me. They must be new kids. I get a bottle of water.<br>"No we won't." I wave them off. "My uncle is the principle." Then I turn and head down the long hallway that raps almost around the entire school. They follow me again. I stop at the door on the left and rip it open. Cinna is standing on the stage and the place is flooded with students.  
>"I need all new students up here." Cinna says. The four of them scurry past me and they start whispering when they're out of my hearing range.<br>Of course they don't like me. Nobody fucking likes me.  
>I sit down on the floor in the corner and pull my knees to my chest.<br>I can't wait to end it tonight; to finally get rid of the pain and suffering.  
>Everyone looks around for their pairs and they scramble all over the place.<br>Peeta Mellark walks over to me and holds out his hand. Slowly, I grasp it, and he pulls me to my feet. "Your my guide." He says.  
>Great, I fight a sigh and pull him out of the auditorium. I show him his schedule three times; I show him all the bathrooms and have him meet the staff. I stay silent for the most part.<br>"You remind me of my cousin." He blurts suddenly.  
>"Your cousin?" I whisper.<br>"Well..." He sighs and looks upset as he scratches the back of his head. "She had an eating disorder and she self-harmed...she was sixteen and she...she killed herself and I just..." He looks so upset and heartbroken. "I just wish I could tell everyone out there with an eating disorder, or who has harmed themselves in any way that they are worthy of life. That their life has a meeting. That they can overcome and get through anything."  
>I stare at him. Is that true; that I am worthy of something? My life has a meaning? Can I really overcome this?<br>He stares back at me for a long time. "I know your depressed. I know you starve yourself. My cousin and I were best friends. I recognize the symptoms. The fact that you're so quiet, that you wear sweatshirt, that your skinny. For every minute that your sad, you lose sixty seconds if happiness. You should get better. I watched my cousin suffer and we tried everything. Nobody deserves to be unhappy because of what somebody else thinks about them."  
>"I-I can't be happy. It's impossible for me to get better."<br>"Nothing is impossible." He whispers. I back away from him. The last thing he calls after me before I'm out the door is, "I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, Katniss. I'm telling you it's going to be worth it. Your value doesn't decrease based on somebody's inability to see your worthiness and beauty!"

...8...

I sit in my bedroom, staring out the window at the snow falling. _I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, Katniss. I'm telling you it's going to be worth it. Your value doesn't decrease based on somebody's inability to see your worth and beauty. _

I don't have beauty. I don't have a single bit of beauty. I'm not beautiful.

I thought it was impossible for me to get better. Nothing works. Maybe…I don't need help. Maybe I have to do this on my own.

My stomach growls loudly, begging me for food. I haven't eaten in nearly a week and I am, indeed starving.

I know for a fact that right now Mom, Dad and my nine year old sister Prim are downstairs eating dinner because Mom already came up here and asked me if I was hungry and I lied and told her no.

And I'm hungry. No, scratch that; I'm _starving._

I want to eat. If I want to get better, I'll start by feeding myself. The only reason I can function without falling down is because I drink water from the tap in the bathroom.

I never come out of my room unless I need something or I'm going to school. I don't see my family; any of them; unless they come to me.

Maybe I should start by letting some love into my life. I rise to my feet, hug my body and go downstairs. Everyone looks up at me and I see Dad's eyes flick to Mom's. They don't act excited or happy because they know I'm going to get pissed off and go right back upstairs. I hesitate though, and then slowly, I get a plate from the cabinet and serve myself. I head for the stairs again, but I stop and go back to the table. Mom set my place at the table. Her and Prim and Daddy always set my place at the table. I take the plate they put there and put it back and put my plate down, sit down, duck my head and silently eat.

I know they're going to get me to talk. I get up again and get myself milk because I'm really thirsty.

When I was a kid, back when I did have every meal and I didn't have cuts all over my wrists and I did smile and talk and play games, I always put strawberry in my milk because I hate actual milk. I rummage through the cabinets and the refrigerator.

"What are you looking for?" Mom asks, clearly hoping to hear the sound of my voice for the first time in the month.

"Where the strawberry stuff?" I ask quietly. "Do you guys still buy that stuff?"

"Of course," Mom stands up and opens the cabinet I did not look in and gets the strawberry syrup. I rip off the label and throw away the plastic and get a spoon and put the syrup in my milk, put the syrup in the fridge and mix my milk until its pink. Then, I set my spoon down on my napkin, drink half of my milk and then continue eating.

"How was school?" Dad blurts.

"Borning." I mumble. "But I met this guy today-"

"You did?" Prim asks excitedly. "What's he look like? Is he cute? What color eyes?"

"He has blond hair and blue eyes…" I trail off.

"Is he cute?" she repeats.

My face grows hot and I know I'm blushing up a storm. "He's not ugly."

"So he's gorgeous? Katniss the opposite of ugly is gorgeous." Prim says.

"Fine he's hot…" I mumble.

"What's his name?"

"Peeta Mellark…" I mumble.

"Oh, I know who he is. His parents own the Mellark's bakery. You used to have play dates with him when you were little." Mom says.

"Did he hurt you?" Dad demands.

"No, he-"

"Was he respectful?"

"Yes he-"

"Was he a gentlemen?"

"He said I remind him of his cousin. He said his cousin killed herself." I blurt. They fall silent.

"Oh…" mom whispers.

"And then he said 'I just wish I could tell everyone out there with an eating disorder, or who has harmed themselves in any way that they are worthy of life; that their life has a meeting and that they can overcome and get through anything.' And then he said 'I know your depressed. I know you starve yourself. My cousin and I were best friends. I recognize the symptoms. The fact that you're so quiet, that you wear sweatshirt, that your skinny. For every minute that your sad, you lose sixty seconds if happiness. You should get better. I watched my cousin suffer and we tried everything. Nobody deserves to be unhappy because of what somebody else thinks about them.' And _then_ I told him that it's impossible for me to get better and he said 'nothing is impossible'. I started to run away and that last thing he said before the doors shut were 'I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, Katniss. I'm telling you it's going to be worth it. Your value doesn't decrease based on somebody's inability to see your worthiness and beauty!'." I'm done eating now, but I don't run and hide.

"He's a nice kid." Dad says after a couple of minutes.

"You should marry him!" Prim squeals.

"Prim!" Mom scolds. Her shoulders droop.

"Sorry…" she trails off.

They fall silent again. Then mom says, "He's right, you know. Getting better is worth it, and you value doesn't decrease because of what other people think of you. The only person's value that decreases is everybody that thinks everything that is happening is funny and by the people that are doing this to you."

I shrug my shoulders in reply. "I'm not worthy and I don't have beauty-"

"You are more than worthy and you have more beauty than you can imagine!" Dad says.

"Well I don't feel worthy and I don't feel like I have beauty." I whisper.

"You are worthy. You are worth everything. I would do anything for you, and you are so incredibly beautiful." Prim whispers. "To be honest, the only reason you don't have guys lined down the block with boners is because of those sweatshirts."

"Primrose Everdeen, how do you know what a boner is?" Mom gasps. I look down, trying not to laugh.

"That is beside the point, mother. I say we get Katniss cute clothes to wear to school so she can see she is worth is and she's beautiful."

They take me shopping and get me a ton of clothes from Hollister and American Eagle and Tillie's.

Now I stand in the bathroom with the knife in my hand, the tip right over my heart.

_Your value doesn't decrease based on somebody's inability to see your worthiness and beauty._

I shake my head, tears cascading down my cheeks. Then, I set the knife down.

I won't kill myself tonight. I'm looking forward to seeing Peeta Mellark tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

"I really don't know about this…" I trail off. Mom and Prim are helping me dress today.

I'm wearing black skinny jeans, a white button of shirt with the front tucked in so the back is hanging and loose, a maroon scarf and tan heel boots. I have to keep my wrists covered, even though I didn't cut last night. My hair is down and left wavy and they didn't put any makeup on me. "This is going to be perfect! Count how many guys look at you, okay?" Prim begs.

"I already know the number. And it's zero." I reply.

"Please just count them Katniss? Please? For me?" she whispers.

"Fine," I pick up my new backpack that is just a black Jan sport one. I remember being friends with Peeta Mellark as kids now. I remember we used to play hide and seek and we were playing in the forest behind my house and I feel from the huge oak tree when we were a mile from my house. I was seven and he was eight and I broke my leg and he carried me all the way home.

"Are you going to eat breakfast?" Mom asks hopefully. I sigh and nod, even though I truthfully am not hungry. I need to eat. "Text me when you get to school because I want to hear all about the reactions of everyone."

Dad makes me an omelet and I eat the whole thing and let mom give me a mug of coffee and twenty dollars to put on my account for lunch. I hug all three of them goodbye and walk out the door to my car. It's snowing and I'm freezing because I don't have a jacket. Instead of driving in silence, I put in my Jonas CD and drive to school.

I'm nervous. So nervous I'm afraid my dinner is going to make reappearance. I take a deep breath and shut off the car, get out after grabbing my backpack, and clutch my car keys in my hand with my phone in my back pocket as I walk up to the school. I pause to lock my car before opening the doors to the cafeteria and walking inside.

Glimmer is looking around, waiting for me to walk in, but she doesn't say a word.

I count the guys that stare at me with wide eyes and dropped jaws, and I get ten. "Hey, you're really pretty, what's your name? I love your outfit!" Glimmer exclaims.

I turn to face her completely. She looks me up and down and then frowns, then she looks into my eyes and her widen. Then everyone seems to get who I am and everyone goes silent.

Glimmer looks like she's seen a ghost. "Never mind." She says. Everyone starts laughing.

That stings, a lot. "I don't know what you guys find so funny!" someone says loudly.

Everyone turns around and I see Peeta standing there. His breathtaking blue eyes are black, his arms are crossed and there isn't a trace of joking or humor on his face. "And who are you?" Glimmer sneers.

"That's none of your damn business. Why do you have to bully people? Does it make you feel better? It doesn't make Katniss feel better, when everything single day, you and your loud ass mouth has something to say about her and every day one of you inconsiderate assholes start laughing instead of helping her out. Every one of you makes me sick. You guys are all heartless creatures with no feelings, and I'm sorry you have to put people down to make yourself feel better."

They all look shocked, honestly shocked. "You have a lot of nerve." Glimmer says.

"He's right!" Finnick stands up. "Leave Katniss alone,"

"Yeah," Annie stands up too.

"Yeah bitch, shut your plastic mouth before a take a pen to your fake titties." Johanna snarls.

"Why do you care about her? She's hideous with no friends, she cuts herself, and she doesn't eat, like…why do you care about her? She probably has a plan to kill herself!" Then Glimmer turns to me and punches me in the face.

No, no I can't fight her back. I may be tiny but I'm extremely strong, especially with a bow and arrow. Blood starts gushing from my nose. Then she laps me.

The bipolar part of me is starting to show. Everyone is muttering how I'm 'too weak' and 'I can't fight anyone'.

And then the sides of my vision show red. Glimmer smirks, thinking I'm not going to do anything.

I snap, and kick her legs out from underneath her and start punching the absolute shit out of her. I'm screaming and her and she's screaming at me. "Get off me, lesbian!" she screams.

"I'm not a lesbian you good for nothing inconsiderate fucking asshole!" I continue beating the shit out of her and a ton of teachers are coming in and shouting at us to stop and shouting for help because the teachers in here are all girls.

Glimmer is struggling to get out from underneath me but I can't stop beating the fuck out of her. I don't know where my car keys went. Someone wraps their strong arms around my waist and pulls me off of her. Glimmer is pulled to her feet by someone else and I thrash around in the person's arms, shouting swears. The person holding me back grabs my backpack and rips my car keys from somebody's hand. Then with one arm, the person picks me up and carries me out of the school.

I'm set in my passenger seat and the person, who I now know is Peeta gets in the driver's seat. I hear over the intercom in Cinna's voice that everyone is go leave campus and go home now because a snow storm was just declared. Johanna, Annie and Finnick all get in my car too, and tears start to slide down my cheeks. I pull my knees up against my chest and silent cry my eyes out the whole way home.


	3. Chapter 3

They didn't just drop me off like I thought they were going to, they came inside with me. Cinna showed up a bit later and I've been sitting on the couch as mom tends to my nose.

"She's such a bitch." Johanna finally speaks up. "I hate her. Why does she have to do this?"

"Because she's heartless," Finnick says. Mom quits tending to my wounds because they're fine.

Everyone is silent. I pull my knees against my chest and hide my face. "I just want to get better. I want so badly to feel happy and to stop hiding away and to have friends. I want to laugh for real and smile and I want to stop cutting myself. It's impossible. I can't get better. I'm impossible.

We're all silent for a real long time. "The storm of life may be raging around you, but god is always there to bring you through, and so are we." Peeta finally speaks up.

"Well god obviously isn't real! It's been six fucking years and I'm just getting worse and worse!" I'm angry all of the sudden. "You know I had a knife in my hand and had the tip right here last night?" I jab right over my heart. Mom coughs and covers her mouth with her hand and starts crying, and Dad hugs her and Prim starts crying and Cinna hugs her. Even Annie starts crying, and Finnick hugs her. "I almost did it-"

"But you didn't!" he shoots back. "You didn't do it because god stopped you! He is real! Katniss if he wasn't real, you would not be sitting here today!"

"No god didn't stop me, you did!" I snarl.

"How did I stop you?" he demands.

"'_Your value doesn't decrease based on somebody's inability to see your worthiness and beauty.'__" I reply. His eyes flicker with recognition. "You saved my life and you didn't even know it."_

_Then I storm upstairs and make sure the door slams. _

_…..l….._

_I go back to my sweatshirt and hoodies a four later when the storm ends. I go back to my silence. Dad threw my blades in the fireplace so I can't cut. I almost start crying when my phone dies before lunch so I can't listen to my music, which has been the only thing keeping my tears away. _

_When the lunch bell rings, I go to Cinna's office and plug my phone in the charger he keeps in there for me. Then I go to lunch and put my head onto the table. Someone puts their hand on my back and sits down next to me. My eyes are wet with tears but I look up anyways. He looks pained. "You look like you need a hug." He says. He stands up and grabs my hand and pulls me to my feet, and with everyone watching, he wraps his arms tightly around my waist. With the sleeves of my sweatshirt in my hands, I wind my arms around his neck and bury my head in my shoulder. I'm upset my phone is dead and I wish it was incapable of not running out of battery. His arms are so warm and comfortable that I never want to leave them. "What's wrong?" he whispers in my ear, shocking me by kissing my cheek. _

_"My phone died and that was the only thing keeping me from leaving in tears. I just don't feel good. I never feel good. I just want to be happy and I can't be happy."_

_"You can be happy." He whispers._

_"No I can't, I-" _

_"Yes you can." He pulls away from me. "You can do anything. Life is a walk on our own, but that doesn't mean you have to do it alone." _

_"Look at the lesbian!" Glimmer laughs evilly. _

_I almost start crying, but Peeta shocks me by leaning in and kissing me right on the lips. Everyone shrieks. I've never kissed anybody before. Slowly, I kiss him back. My body is on fire. My eyes are closed; my arms are around his neck. After, a minute, he pulls away and then whispers, "I want you to know I'm here for you whenever you need me. Don't listen to her, she doesn't know shit about what she's talking about. And…you have no idea how long I have wanted to do that." He whispers. "Oh, and the feeling of your lips against mine is even better than the feeling of an orgasm." Then he releases me just as the bell rings, and he's gone before I can even react. _

_He's had sex before? _

_My jaw is half open. I grab my backpack and scurry off to Cinna's office. _

_"You two kissed?" he's in there. I unplug my phone._

_"Yes." I reply._

_"Oh my god, Prim and your mother are going to be ecstatic!"_

_"Mm hmm…" I walk out of his office before he can start freaking out. _

_…a…_

_He's leaning against my car when I get there after school. _It's Friday, thank god.

I used to be best friends with him, but when I sunk into depression I forgot about him, all about him, his name, everything. When mom told me who he was though, I remembered. We don't say anything for a minute or two. "I'm sorry." He sighs. "I kissed you without your permission and…I'm really sorry, can you forgive me?"

He stare at him for a long time and then wave my hand for him to get out of his way so I can open the car door and toss my bag in the back. "I wasn't even upset with you in the first place, I just didn't realize you were a virgin…but it's none of my business, so forget I just said that."

"Oh, I'm not a virgin." He says. I don't say anything, although I'm dying to know. "It's called porn and my hands."

Oh dear god that would be so fucking hot to watch. I take a deep breath and nod, trying to keep my thoughts non-dirty. "Well…bye…" I start to get in my car, but he stops me.

"Wait." He begs.

"What?" I demand.

"I just…" he looks at loss for words. "Can I have your phone number?" he asks softly.

"Sure, 222-2222." I reply.

"Katniss, your real phone number." He pleads with me.

I bite my lip. "Why do you even care? About any of this, about me or if I kill myself or not; why does it matter? Why do you even care?" I demand.

He steps closer to me, "You intrigue me. We were best friends when we were kids and you intrigue me. I have deep, deep feelings for you that I can never explain. I can't watch you in pain. I need to see you happy. I want to help you. And I don't want someone so beautiful and incredible and amazing to be a repeat of my cousin." He smells like cinnamon and dill. He smells like what heaven would smell like and it overwhelms my senses.

"How deep are you feeling about me?" I demand.

"That…is for me to know and you to maybe find out one day. Now give me your phone number so I can call you and hear your beautiful voice whenever I please." He murmurs.

"What is your phone number?" I ask, unlocking my phone and going to the calls.

"630-658-2245," he says. I type it in and press call. I see Glimmer exit the school. He gets his phone from his pocket, stepping closer to me and saving my phone number.

"Can I ask you a question that has been bothering me?" I blurt.

"You can ask me anything and I'll see if I have an answer." He says softly.

"Okay…" I hesitate. "Did you only kiss me because Glimmer called me a lesbian, or did it mean something to you?" I ask.

He stares at me for a long time. "I didn't even hear her call you a lesbian." He admits. "It meant a lot more to me than anything you will ever understand." He whispers.

"But…why?" I question.

"Because…I have deep feelings for you, I told you that." His eyes flick down to his phone. "I have to go."

"Why? You can't just leave me with nothing!" I exclaim.

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"You're not giving me anything I want! I need something that doesn't make me lose my mind from confusion over the weekend."

He kisses me again. His lips are like magic moving against mine. His lips are warm but not wet and slimy. He's perfect. "Is that enough to last you through the weekend?" he whispers.

"That wasn't what I meant but…I really like kissing you." he smiles and cups my cheek, running his thumb along my cheek bone. I shut my eyes for a moment.

"What did you mean then?" he whispers.

"I meant that…you're avoiding all my questions. What kind of deep feelings and why won't I understand?"

"I'll tell you someday." He smiles.

"I want to know now!" I whine.

"I'll tell you what." He says. "If I come and pick you up tomorrow morning and you wear something other than this sweatshirt, I will consider telling you." he says.

"Is this considered as a date?" I ask softly.

"No, just friends, now do we have a deal?' he asks.

"I don't know…" I bite my lip.

"If I kiss you again do we have a deal?" he asks. I smile; a real smile, one I haven't smiled since I was eleven. He grins and my smile widens. "There it is!" he laughs, and I smile even wider. "Is that a yes then?" he asks.

"You tell me." I reply. It's cold out here and I itch for the heat. Everyone comes out and runs right for their cars or the busses, but I just stay here with Peeta. The heat from his car radiates out to my body and it keeps me slightly warm.

He leans down and kisses me again, only for a minute before pulling away. "Will you text me if your parents say you can go?" he asks softly.

"Okay," I whisper.

"Okay, I really have to go." He kisses me again. "I'll see you tomorrow or Monday." He tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear walks away. Once he's gone, I'm really cold, so I get in the car and turn on the heat and switch the CD's from Jonas to Demi and head for home.


	4. Chapter 4

"Please?" I beg.  
>"No." Dad says for the umpteenth time.<br>"Why?" I demand.  
>"Because I said no," We're sitting at the dinner table and I've been begging him since I got home from school. Mom works late tonight at the hospital.<br>"Please?" I whisper weakly, tears filling my eyes.  
>"NO KATNISS!" He finally shouts at me.<br>I lash out suddenly and send everything on the table flying against the wall. "WELL FUCK YOU, THEN!" I scream. Prim scurries away. Dad looks like he's about to start screaming at me. "I HATE YOU!" I storm upstairs and slam my door and lock it. I hear his pounding footsteps charge after me as I grab a duffle bag and fill it with clothes and everything I need, my phone and charger; everything. Then I open my window and use the gutter as a pole and slide down, running to the front of the house and taking off on foot.

PEETAS POV

At three in the morning, my brother Rye walks into my room and shakes me awake. "Bro, get up."  
>"The fuck Rye, get out dude!"<br>"No way man, this is serious. It's about Katniss." He says.  
>I frown and prop myself up with my elbows. "Katniss?" I repeat.<br>"Yeah, her parents and sister are here and they're pretty shaken up." He says.  
>What happened to Katniss? I stand up and pull on a pair of sweatpants and walk out of my bedroom to the living room. Mom and Dad are awake, and so is my other brother, Graham. "Peeta boy, how are you?" Katniss's Dad asks.<br>"I'm alright," I reply.  
>"Have you seen Katniss or heard from her at all or even talked to her?" Mrs. Everdeen asks.<br>"The last time I talked to her was when I left school." I reply. "Why? Is she alright?"  
>"That's the thing Peeta. We don't know if she's alright. You see, we told her she couldn't go with you and she got really upset and she climbed down her window and ran off. She isn't answering her phone. We don't know what happened." Her dad answers. "We tried Cinna, but he said he hasn't seen her either."<br>I let out a deep breath. "I'll try and call her..." I get my phone from my room and dial Katniss. She doesn't answer. It rings one time and then goes right to voicemail. "Well on the bright side, no phone would ring one time and go right to voicemail, which means she is alive and she is pressing the ignore button every time somebody calls her."  
>They look slightly relived.<br>"Why don't you text her and ask her if she's coming tomorrow. Maybe she won't ignore you then." Graham, my older brother suggests.  
>"I'll try," I text Katniss.<br>Me: hey, are you going to be coming with me?  
>I wait for a while and then it says she's typing. "She's typing," I voice.<br>Katniss: no because my dad is an inconsiderate asshole. Nobody likes me and I just want to die. And I'm cold and tired and I'm scared.  
>Me: you don't really want to die, do you? Why are you tired and cold and scared? Just go to sleep or make hot chocolate or something.<br>I'm acting dumb to get her to admit she's not home.  
>Katniss: I can't...<br>Me: why?  
>Katniss: because I'm not home.<br>Me: what do you mean you're not home? It's three in the morning!  
>Katniss: I ran away, alright! Now I don't know where I am and I'm cold and I'm tired and I'm scared and I really just don't understand why nobody likes me and I just really want to go somewhere warm but not see my dad.<br>Me: Katniss...let me come get you.  
>Katniss: hell no! You'll take me home then!<br>Me: Katniss, listen, I understand that your upset you can't come, but don't take this out on yourself. Please let somebody come and get you. Please?  
>Katniss: I...I guess so...<br>Me: good. Now where are you?  
>Seconds later, my phone starts ringing. Her parents are reading everything over my shoulder.<br>"I don't know where I am!" She says. She's trying not to cry, I can hear it. "It's really cold and I keep hearing noises and I'm really scared."  
>"What does it look like around you?" I ask.<br>"There's some supermarket called Toms and there's a fruit stand..."  
>I know exactly where that is. "Okay, stay put, alright? I'm coming to get you."<br>"Okay." She whimpers. "Just you though. Don't bring my parents." She hangs up.  
>"She wants me to go and get her and she said she only wants me to go." I announce.<br>"Alright, If she finds out that we were here she's going to be really mad. Can you just bring her home when you got her?" Her dad asks.  
>"Of course," I reply. I go to my room and change into jeans and a white long sleeve shirt and my leather jacket and grab my keys and my phone and wallet and head out the door to my car.<p>

KATNISS'S POV

I sit on the bench, freezing cold, waiting for Peeta. I rest my head on my knees and shove my hands in the pockets of my jacket.  
>It's starting to hurt; the cold, I mean.<br>It's starting to hurt so bad I'm almost in tears. I really don't want to go home at all. I want to run away forever. But I'm cold and tired. I'm shaking and my teeth are chattering. I actually don't know if I can even move. Somebody sits down next to me but I don't lift my head and I don't move. "Hey," Peeta grabs my hands and I hear him let a hiss out from between his teeth. "Shit Katniss. You're like an icicle." He whispers.  
>"I-I am s-s-so c-cold." I whimper.<br>"Alright, come here." He opens his arms and pulls me into him. He stands up and carries me to his car and sets me on the passenger seat and buckles me in. The heat is on and I sit my hands right on top of the vent. He gets in and watches me from the corner of his eye. We drive in silence for a while. "I didn't realize that coming with me meant so much to you." He says.  
>There is something about Peeta Mellark I can't put my finger around. I just feel all warm and bubbly around him and he makes me feel happy. Going with him meant a lot to me and I'm pissed my father won't let me go. "It does. It does mean a lot." I mumble. My mind starts to wander to a very dark place. His hands wandering my body, his lips on my neck.<br>How incredible would it feel to have sex with him? He is amazing.  
>God dammit I think I have even more than a crush on him. I've just met the older him a week ago on Monday and we were best friends as kids, but he always made me feel different in a good way. I guess I didn't understand it back then. But now all I want is to kiss him.<br>I think I've fallen in love with Peeta Mellark.  
>"When are you going to tell me about these deep feelings?" I blurt. I'm all warmed up now. He pulls over suddenly, and if I didn't trust him, I would think that he was going to kick me out if his car or rape me.<br>Then again, it's not rape if you like it.  
>He gets out and moves to the backseat, gesturing for me to do the same.<br>"Katniss, I have had very deep feelings for you ever since we were kids that I just couldn't quite understand." He says softly when I'm facing him and he is facing me. He threads his fingers through mine, and god it feels incredible. "But now that I'm older, I do understand. I have never in my life been more attracted to anyone. There is nobody out there that is more beautiful and amazing and outgoing and intelligent than you and...I think I have feeling for you that is just much more than a crush." He pushes me gently down so I'm lying down and then hovers above me. "I have never wanted to touch a girl, every single inch of her more than I have wanted to touch you." He lowers himself so he's much closer to me. "And Katniss Everdeen," he's whispering now. "You make me happy. You're the only person I ever want to see. If we were the only two people left on earth, I would be so incredibly happy." He's searching my eyes for a long time before slipping his hand under my shirt and jacket and letting it rest on my stomach. "And I promise you, that I am incapable of controlling myself around you." Then get gets out and moves to the front seat. I move too, and for the entire ride the feeling of his hand on my stomach does not disappear.


	5. Chapter 5

I'm grounded for a week, but I still get to have my phone, which is stupid because it's like I'm not grounded. I don't go anywhere anyways.  
>When I get to school Monday morning, Glimmer starts her rants about how I'm ugly and a lesbian. I'm halfway to my table when Peeta is there. I haven't talked to him since Friday night.<br>I stare at him. He grabs my hand and pulls me to his table with Johanna, Annie and Finnick.  
>I've just barely say down before my phone starts ringing. It says 'Cinna'<br>"Yes?" I ask.  
>"Come to my office." He says.<br>"Why?" I demand.  
>"Because I need to talk to you; it's important."<br>"If your going to lecture me about me running off on Friday I'm not going to come."  
>He sighs. "This has absolutely nothing to do with that."<br>"Fine. If I come and your lying I'm going to drive right back home-"  
>"Katniss just come to my office." He hangs up on me.<br>Silently I stand up and grab my bag.  
>"Where are you going?" Peeta demands. I point towards Cinna's office. "Why aren't you talking. What happened?"<br>"I'm going to Cinna." I walk away.

...8...

Mom and Dad are here with Prim in his office when I walk in the door, and it makes me freeze up. "What?" I ask, shutting the door behind me and dumping my bag on the floor.  
>"You need to bring up your grades." Cinna says. I roll my eyes, pick up my bag and open the door. "If you don't I'm banning you from the class trip to Florida." He adds. I freeze.<br>"Class trip?" I repeat.  
>"Yes. Right after you finish exams, the assistant principle takes the senior class out to Florida. The day you finish exams is the day before you leave. Like you finish finals on the thirty first of May and you leave the first of June at five in the morning. You will room with two other girls that are assigned to you."<br>"I thought the assistant principle got fired?"  
>"Oh, she did." He says.<br>"So who is taking us on the trip?"  
>"The new assistant principle." He says. I move out of the way of the door and drop my bag by Prim.<br>"Who is the new assistant principle?" I ask.  
>"Hello sweetheart." My eyes snap up to the doorway and I see Uncle Haymitch standing there.<br>"Oh god..." I groan. "What are we doing in Florida?" I ask.  
>"We're going to Adventure Island and then Busch Gardens and then we're going down the Miami and going to the Everglades National Park." Cinna says.<br>"And your telling me that if I don't bring up my grades I can't go?" I ask.  
>"Yes." Cinna says.<br>"How long are we going to be on the trip?"  
>"Two weeks. Well, it's going to take three days to drive and three days back to those days don't count."<br>"And why am I just now hearing about this?"  
>"Your the only student that knows." Cinna explains.<br>Haymitch narrows his eyes. "And it better stay that way."  
>"What do my grades have to be?" I whisper.<br>"No d's and f's." Cinna says.

The bell rings. "Now get to class. And please take this seriously. I can't let you go if you don't bring your grades up. This is out of my hands." Cinna says.

"Can I at least tell Peeta?" I ask.

"Fine," he says.

I silently grab my bag, sling it over my shoulder and walk out of the office.

Now I'm upset. I shove in my earbuds and force myself to shut off the music for each lesson. I make myself pay attention and I turn the music back on for each worksheet I do and I turn them in early because I was the only one literally paying attention.

When lunch rolls around I still almost have a full battery on my phone. Haymitch is walking around the cafeteria this time with Cinna which means they're keeping eyes on me which actually pisses me off. Peeta stops me when I get to me table. "Stop sitting there." He says.

"I don't like people." I mumble.

"Well then think of the four of us as soft kittens." He says. I laugh, the first real laugh, which makes him grin. "Please? This is no longer your table." He pleads.

"I don't know…" I trail off.

He narrows his eyes at me and then picks me up and throws me over his shoulder, ignoring me beating him on the back. He drops me in the seat at the table with Finnick, Annie and Johanna, and I stand up but he pulls me down to his seat.

"The new assistant principle is staring at you, Brainless." Johanna says to me.

"Brainless?" I repeat.

"Yes," she says.

I look over my shoulder and see that indeed, Haymitch is staring at me. "That's creepy." Finnick says.

"It's because he's my uncle." I say.

"I thought Cinna was your uncle." Peeta says.

"Oh, Cinna is, but so is Haymitch." I reply.

"He looks like a pedophile." Johanna says. I start laughing again because that is so accurate. I look over my shoulder at my uncle and laugh even harder.

"That is so accurate!" I choke out.

"Oh, now Barbie is staring at you, too." Finnick says.

I roll my eyes and put my earbuds back in my phone and put one in my ear.

"Are you going to eat?" Peeta asks.

"I'm not hungry." I reply. To be honest I haven't eaten since Friday. I'm just not in the mood.

He narrows his eyes. "Did you eat breakfast?"

"Yes." I lie.

"You're a terrible liar, Katniss." He says. "Did you eat dinner?" I look down. "Lunch?" he asks. I say nothing. He takes a deep breath. "When is the last time you ate?" I still say nothing. "Katniss." He says.

"Friday!" I snap. Then I put in my other earbud and drop my head onto the table.

Why does he fucking care when I ate? I'm not his problem! I'm my problem and that's it! He needs to back the fuck off!

Nobody bothers me for a while, but someone unplugs me music from my phone. My head snaps up and I see Peeta with my phone and a plate of salad is sitting in front of me. Cinna and Haymitch are watching the two of us closely.

Peeta knows I'm bipolar and he knows if I get mad enough I will hit him. I can't really control it. "Give me my fucking phone." I snarl.

"No; you can have your phone when you eat." He says.

"Give me my goddamn phone." I snarl.

"No." he repeats. I stand up and he shoves my phone in his pocket. "You can hit me all you want. You're not getting your phone back unless you eat." He says. I tackle him to the ground and try and reach into his pocket. He won't hurt me, he gently flips so he is above me and I am below him and he keeps his hand pinning my hands on my floor. I thrash around for a long time.

"Give me my phone or I'll knee you in the junk and you won't ever be able to have kids!" I continue the thrash around beneath him.

"That's alright, I can always adopt." He says.

"You're an asshole! Get the fuck off me!" I snarl, not caring everyone is watching us.

"Alright." He releases me and stands up, extending his hand to help me up. I smack it.

"I can get up by myself, thank you very much." I stand up and glare at him. "Now give me my phone."

"No Katniss." He says. I lunge at him again, and I manage to get my phone from his pocket, grab my bag and take off out of the cafeteria.

Why do I have to eat? I don't feel like eating anything!

I hide behind the school and sit down in the snow.

PEETA'S POV

"Well I tried, right?" I ask Johanna, Annie and Finnick.

"I guess so." Annie says. Everyone goes back to their chattering.

"You're not going to go after her?" Finnick questions.

"No, she's pissed off. She's not going to listen to me until she's calmed down." I reply

…s…

"Katniss, wait, please talk to me." I beg, chasing after her as she bolts to her car.

KATNISS'S POV

I can't talk to him when I'm such a bitch and I called him an asshole when all he tried to do was to get me to eat.

Why do I do this to him? I dig my car keys out of my bed and I bolt for me car, and I've got it unlocked and I'm halfway in before he grabs my arm, pulls me out and slams the door. "Listen, I'm really sorry for taking your phone. It was wrong of me to take it and I shouldn't have done it. Can you forgive me?" he begs.

"I-I-I you didn't even do anything!"

"Well why are you running from me?" he asks.

"Because you…I…you didn't even do anything and I was a bitch and I-dammit I'm not good with words. You just wanted me to stop starving myself and I-I-" I cut off, tears sliding down my cheeks. His hands are on the top of my car on either side of my head and he's listening intently. "-I'm really sorry for calling you an asshole. You're not an asshole. I'm a hideous asshole and you better stay away from me."

"What if I don't want to stay away from you? Katniss, you are not an asshole and you are beautiful. I don't want to stay away from you; I want to be closer to you."

"Why do you care about me? I don't understand why you even care! I'm not anything you should be around. Peeta you are everything I'm not and I don't deserve to be on the same planet as you. I don't think you should get yourself involved with me. I'm not a good person and I have problems."

"Do you care about me?" he whispers.

"Yes." I admit.

"Then you should let me get involved. I want to be involved with your problems and I want you to be my everything. Don't push me away." He whispers.

"I still don't understand why you want to be around me." I mumble.

He backs away for a moment and he looks angry. "Maybe I want to be around you because I'm in love with you; did you ever think about that?"

I stare at him. He's _in love _with me? "What?" I ask. He runs his fingers roughly through his hair.

"Yes Katniss, I'm in love with you! I always have been and I didn't understand, but I'm in love with you and every time you talk shit about yourself because Glimmer is a little bitch it kills me. You can try so fucking hard to get me to leave you alone but I'm not going anywhere and I will heal you completely if it's the last thing I do because I'm head over heels in love with you and I'm not going to watch you waste away!" then he walks away, and I stare after him until his car is out of sight.


	6. Chapter 6

He's not at school the next day and he doesn't text or call me.

He isn't at school for the rest of the week, either, but on the bright side, I get an A on my math test.

I got un-grounded on Saturday.

Glimmer's bullying gets worse. Peeta is back at school and I hide in the bathroom every day and run for my car before he can stop me.

When Friday rolls around, I don't have to bring anything, because today is the talent show. I didn't sign up, of course, but my parents and sister come every year because they love the talent.

Glimmer goes up and sings a terrible song is a short slutty outfit and I sit, bored out of my mind. I'm not in a sweatshirt today; I'm in a leather jacket, a skintight tank top and shredded skinny jeans with combat boots. "This is so stupid," I mutter to my parents and Prim.

"Be nice," Mom says.

"Alright, next up," Cinna begins to announce. His eyes widen and he frowns. "Katniss Everdeen."

Mom, Dad and Prim all look at me. "I didn't sign up." I sit up from my slouching position. Every student is here today and most of the parents and siblings. "I didn't sign up!" I hear a loud cackle from across the auditorium. "Glimmer." I hiss. Everyone bursts into laugher when they realize just what I did.

I do have one talent that not a soul on earth knows about…

Of course everyone thinks I have no talent at all.

When the laughter quiets down, I hear Johanna scream 'GLIMMER'S A WHORE, BUT KICK ASS KATNISS!'.

And I start laughing silently. "Are you going to go?" Prim whispers.

"Yup," I stand up. I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't want to kick Glimmer's ass without touching her. I walk up to the stage again and everyone starts laughing. Cinna looks worried. I walk over and whisper what I need in his ear. He looks confused, but he goes backstage and gets it anyways.

"Listen, Katniss," he begins, whispering.

"I'm fine." I tell him. People start booing, but I don't find myself affected.

The piano is sideways. The news reporters are here every year and I know this is live and I actually don't care. Nobody knows I can play an instrument, let alone that I can sing.

But I am incredibly nervous. Cinna walks off stage and goes to the side. The cameras are on my face. I don't know what I'm supposed to say, so I hesitate before adjusting the microphone and starting to play the melody. People start muttering when it doesn't sound like shit and I hear someone say _Adele_ and I almost laugh.

Yes bitch, Adele.

I wait till it comes to the part where I am supposed to sing and then I open my mouth and am relieved when I don't sound like shit.

_I heard, that you're settled down,__  
><em>_That you, found a girl and your married now.__  
><em>_I heard that your dreams came true.__  
><em>_Guess she gave you things, I didn't give to you.__  
><em> 

After a moment of dead silence, I hear Glimmer shriek "IMPOSSIBLE!" and then I hear Annie, Peeta, Johanna, Finnick, Mom, Dad, Prim and all the Mellark's shout my name and then other people join in.

___Old friend, why are you so shy?__  
><em>_Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.___

_I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,__  
><em>_But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.__  
><em>_I'd hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded,__  
><em>_That for me, it isn't over.___

_Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.__  
><em>_I wish nothing but the best, for you too.__  
><em>_Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said,__  
><em>_"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"__  
><em>_Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead, yeah.___

_You'd know, how the time flies.__  
><em>_Only yesterday, was the time of our lives.__  
><em>_We were born and raised in a summer haze,__  
><em>_Bound by the surprise of our glory days.___

_I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,__  
><em>_But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.__  
><em>_I'd hoped you'd see my face & that you'd be reminded,__  
><em>_That for me, it isn't over.___

_Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.__  
><em>_I wish nothing but the best for you too.__  
><em>_Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you say,__  
><em>_"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead", yay.___

_Nothing compares, no worries or cares.__  
><em>_Regret's and mistakes they're memories made.__  
><em>_Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?___

_Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.__  
><em>_I wish nothing but the best for you.__  
><em>_Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said,__  
><em>_"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"___

_Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.__  
><em>_I wish nothing but the best for you too.__  
><em>_Don't forget me, I beg, I remembered you say,__  
><em>_"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"__  
><em>_Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead, yay yeh yeah_

Everyone is screaming when I stand up, walk off the stage and sit down next to my sister and parents.

Cinna goes back on the stage and has to wait for everyone to stop screaming.

"Next up," he begins when people have gone mostly quiet. I zone out and pull my phone out, put the brightness all the way down and go to temple run.

But I stop short when I hear the start of a song that is most definitely the Jonas Brothers. I look up and my eyes widen when I see Peeta and Finnick.

The Jonas Brothers, Peeta singing?

Why do I have a feeling that this is going to have something to do with me?

This song is called 'Please Be Mine'.

His voice is like…pure sex. It rises goose bumps on my arms and sends a warm shiver down my body.

_They come and go__  
><em>_But they don't know that you are my beautiful__  
><em>_I try to come closer with you__  
><em>_But they all say we won't make it through___

_But I'll be there forever__  
><em>_You will see that it's better__  
><em>_All our hopes and our dreams will come true__  
><em>_I will not disappoint you__  
><em>_I will be right there for you 'til the end__  
><em>_The end of time__  
><em>_Please be mine___

_I'm in and out of love with you__  
><em>_Tryin' to find if it's really true__  
><em>_(Na, na, na, na, na)__  
><em>_How can I prove my love__  
><em>_If they all say I'm not good enough?___

_But I'll be there forever__  
><em>_You will see that it's better__  
><em>_All our hopes and our dreams will come true__  
><em>_I will not disappoint you__  
><em>_I will be right there for you 'til the end__  
><em>_The end of time__  
><em>_Please be mine___

_I can't stop the rain from fallin'__  
><em>_I can't stop my heart from callin' you__  
><em>_It's callin' you__  
><em>_I can't stop the rain from fallin'__  
><em>_I can't stop my heart from callin' you__  
><em>_It's callin' you__  
><em>_I can't stop the rain!__  
><em>_Can't stop the rain from fallin'__  
><em>_I can't stop my heart from callin' you__  
><em>_It's callin' you___

_But I'll be there forever__  
><em>_You will see that it's better__  
><em>_All our hopes and our dreams will come true__  
><em>_I will not disappoint you__  
><em>_I will be right there for you 'til the end__  
><em>_The end of time__  
><em>_Please be mine_

Everyone is cheering for them, Finnick having sung with Peeta.

When they're done, they go back to their seats without a glance in my direction. "That was the Jonas Brothers, right?" Mom asks.

"Yes." I whisper.

"Isn't it weird that Peeta sang that song?" Dad asks.

"And he kept looking at you, Katniss." Prim whispers.

I shrug and sit through the rest of the boring talent show. "I'll see you guys at home." I grab my bag and run at full speed down the halls. I get the feeling of being chased but I don't stop, I just bullet out the doors and to my car.

His hand shoots out of nowhere and keeps my door from opening. I don't turn around, although his front is pressed against my back. "Katniss," Peeta murmurs. I release the handle on the door and squeeze my eyes shut before turning around.

"What?" I ask.

"I'm sorry; for ignoring you and leaving you alone. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I miss you, Katniss. I didn't mean to upset you. Can you forgive me?" he whispers.

"Why did you sing that song?" I ask, completely avoiding his question.

He stares into my eyes for a long time, the little white puffs from my mouth, and the ones from his mouth mixing together each time we exhale. "Because…I like it,"

I cross my arms stubbornly across my chest but say nothing. "Can I go home now?" I snap. I'm upset and I just want to go and sleep.

"Wait," he pleads.

"What! Just leave me alone! I don't want to talk to you!" I snarl.

He looks hurt as he releases the door and steps back. "Never mind." He whispers. I get in my car and drive off.

I can't get the hurt look on his face out of my mind.

…..a…..

In can't sleep all weekend, and on Monday, I feel like a complete and utter bitch.

The way he looked when I left on Friday is a look that I can never get out of my mind.

I feel like trying today because I know he doesn't like me wearing sweatshirts. I get a white long sleeve shirt and a black tank top and pull the tank top on over the white shirt what shows a lot of cleavage, and then I get camouflage skinny jeans with zippers on the sides up to my shins and combat boots. I don't get a jacket, I curl my hair, force myself to eat breakfast and drive to school.

"Whore," Glimmer snarls when I walk in the door. I just roll my eyes and walk past her, straight to Peeta.

"Can we talk?" I ask, cutting Johanna off. I know they know what happened. He hesitates and exhales before turning to face me.

"Why?" he asks.

I shift uncomfortably. "Please?" I beg.

"Nice outfit Brainless," Johanna says.

"Thanks," I reply. Peeta shuts his eyes for a moment before getting up, grabbing his bag and following me to the other side of the school and outside where nobody is at.

"What?" he asks.

"I know you're mad at me but I'm sorry for being a bitch. It's been bothering me all weekend and I'm really sorry I upset you. I miss you too I'm just really not good with my emotions." I say.

He takes a deep breath. "It's alright…" he trails off. The bell rings, and he looks over his shoulder in the door of the school. "Let's ditch today." He blurts.

I hesitate. "Haymitch is going to catch us." I whisper.

"What will he do?" he asks.

"He's gonna be pretty pissed and he's gonna be screaming at me…"

"What if we sneak?"

"He's going to notice I'm not here." I announce.

"Why don't you call your mom and tell her that you don't feel good?" he asks.

"And when she asks where I am?"

"Tell her you went to my house because I'm sick, too." He says.

"Alright…" I sigh and call my Mom.

"Hello?" she asks.

"Mom; I don't feel good."

"What's wrong?" she asks.

"My throat hurts and I have a headache and I'm really stuffy."

"Alright then, come on home." She says.

"Can I go to Peeta's?" I ask.

"No Katniss, you're sick." She says.

"Please Mom? So is Peeta and I'm going to be bored out of my mind at home anyways." I beg.

"Katniss," Mom begins warningly.

"Please?" I plead.

"Fine," she hangs up.

"She's going to end up calling your mom so you better call her and tell her you're sick and going to my house." I tell him.

"Alright,"

…w…

"Peeta," I whisper, "This is incredible." I touch one of the icicles. I'm going to be eighteen on Saturday, February First. We're somewhere an hour away from home and it's in some city but it has caves and in the caves are incredible icicles.

"Careful," he whispers. "If they fall on you, they will kill you." he murmurs.

"How did you find this place?" I whisper.

"Well when I was little, my parents used to make me and Kayla out here…" he trails off.

"Kayla?" I repeat, turning to face him.

Pain is evident in his eyes, "My cousin," he whispers. "This is the only place she was truly happy."

"That's so sad." I whisper.

At the same time, our phones start ringing loudly. An icicle falls from the ceiling and shatters, and Peeta grabs my hand and pulls me out of the cave quickly.

"It's my mom."" He says.

"It's my mom, too." I mumble.

"I'm gonna take a wild guess and say your mom called my mom or my mom called your mom and they found out that you're not at my house and I'm not at your house and now you're in deep shit."

"You're not in trouble?"

"I can't get in trouble, I'm eighteen." He says.

"We need to go." I mumble.

"To school?" he asks.

"Hell no. Home, we need to go home."


	7. Chapter 7

I'm grounded for three months but they can't tell me what to do when I turn eighteen. People are staring at the five of us, mostly because I'm lying on the bench in the lunchroom with my legs on Peeta's lap. We're at lunch and Peeta constantly tapping my stomach when my eyes slide shut is the only thing keeping me awake. I dig my notebook out of my backpack and write 'What are we?' on it and slide it down my legs till it's in front of Peeta. He takes the pen from my hand.

_What do you mean?_

I sigh

_I mean us. What are we?_

I've got in my earbuds.

_Um…_

That's all he put.

_Peeta we kiss all the time and you admitted you love me and…the feeling's mutual, but we're still friends? I can't be friends with benefits. _

He runs his hands over his face.

_I don't want to be friends with benefits…_

I sigh sharply.

_I don't either but right now…that's all we seem to be…unfortunately without the sex. _

I scribble out unfortunately and pass it to him.

_Will you be my girlfriend then?_

I bite my lip, a grin spreading across my lips. He's watching me closely.

_Alright…_

I pass the notebook too him and he grins.

_I'm keeping this page._

_No you're not it's in __my __notebook._

Instead of him writing something, he starts to draw, and when he taps my stomach and pulls out an earbud, it's because the bell is ringing. "Give it," I hold my hand out for the book.

"Can I give it back to you after school?" he asks sweetly. I bite my lip.

"Fine," he shuts the book and puts it in his bag and then stands up and pulls me to my feet, handing me my bag before giving me a kiss and taking my hand to walk to me class.

...9...

"Peeta when can I have my notebook back?" I ask.  
>"I don't know." He says. Why is it that we're always at my car.<br>"You said you were going to give it back to me today but your not." I whine.  
>"I know, and I'm sorry." He whispers.<br>"Can I have to back tomorrow?" I ask.  
>"How about on your birthday." His hands slide down my sides to my hips and then slide around to cup my ass. He pulls me flush against his chest. "Okay?" He whispers. I look up into his eyes.<br>"Alright," I mumble.  
>"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow." He releases my ass and takes my face in his hands and brings my lips to his for a lingering moment. "Bye." He whispers. He starts to walk away.<br>I take a small step forward. "Peeta?" I call. He turns to face me. "I love you."  
>He walks right back over to me and kisses me again. "I love you too." I kiss him this time and after a minute, he pulls away. "I'll see you tomorrow, alright?" He asks softly.<br>"Okay," I whisper, pecking his lips one last time before he turns around and walks to his car.

...8...

I'm sitting in my bedroom doing my homework and listening to my music when Mom comes and knocks on the door. Since the heat is on, I've shedder layer after layer and now I'm in spandex short shorts and a t-shirt that shows off my boobs.  
>"Can you come downstairs honey?" Mom asks. I hear her walk away. I pause Demi and get up, grab my phone off the docking station and go downstairs.<br>"Yeah?" I ask.  
>"Your father and I have decided that you are ungrounded. Peeta has completely saved you and it is wrong of us for taking him away from you." Mom says.<br>I raise my eyebrows. "Alright," I reply.  
>"Are you guys together?" Dad asks.<br>Suppose I should just tell them. "Yes, we are."  
>"Oh that's just wonderful!" Mom claps her hand.<br>"Alright well I'm doing my homework...so..." I go back upstairs and finish my homework.

...9...

I spend the rest of the week working my ass off on my homework.  
>When I ask if I can go to Peeta's on Friday and I am told no, I don't get angry because tomorrow I never have to ask again, I can just go and do what I want.<br>I hide in my room for the rest if the night.  
>I drift off into a sleep filled with very sexual dreams of Peeta and I...<br>"Wake up!" Someone throws something at me and it hits me right in the boob.  
>I groan and roll over, right off the bed. I hear Johanna cackle. "That's right Brainless. Now get up off your ass and get dressed. Your family and boyfriend and friends are taking you out to breakfast." She says.<br>I groan again. "What time is it?" I mumble.  
>"Nine." She says.<br>I groan louder and force myself to my feet, dragging myself to the bathroom. I get undressed on the floor and crawl into the shower and sit there for ten minutes before actually doing anything.  
>I wash my hair and end up falling asleep.<p>

...9...

"BRAINLESS!" Johanna rips the curtain back. "The fuck! Did you fall asleep?"  
>I moan. "Get out!" I whine.<br>"Hurry up!" She leaves the bathroom, laughing her ass off. I drag myself to my feet and wash my body, shave and then get out and wrap myself in a towel, blow dry my hair and just leave it down and wavy and then walk into my bedroom, not caring Johanna is in here as I drop my towel and pull on a push-up bra and panties and a black tank top dress with white flowers on it and pull on a tan sweater over my arms and I pull on boots.  
>"It's too early." I complain. I put in earrings and grab my throw blanket off my bed. Johanna goes downstairs.<br>"Your daughter is a work of art. She fell asleep in the shower."  
>Johanna announces. I wrap myself in the blanket because I'm freezing and trudge downstairs.<br>I'm shocked, really shocked when I see my Grandparents and all my aunts and uncles and cousins. They don't say anything when they see my, because last time we saw each other was Christmas and I hid in my bedroom the entire day; sleeping.  
>They look weary. "Hi!" I smile. "What are you guys doing here?"<br>Grandma looks so surprised. Everyone does. My Aunt Elizabeth bursts into tears and hugs me. "Your talking and smiling and you've gained weight! Oh my goodness look at you! You look so happy! You eat now? Who did this? Who is behind this?"  
>I search the room for Peeta.<br>"Late," Johanna explains. "All of them." I notice Annie and Finnick aren't here either.  
>"Oh look at you!" Everyone starts gushing about how I'm so happy and healthy and how my miss my voice and smile and that the light is back in my eyes. Johanna disappears upstairs for a second and comes back with my wallet and my phone and my keys and hands them to me.<br>"You are so beautiful!" Grandma gushes. When I lived with her I heard her going to bed crying because I never did anything. Johanna looks down at her phone for a second and then walks away.  
>When she comes back, Finnick, Annie and Peeta are with her. I hug Finnick and Annie and then Peeta.<br>"Here," he says, handing me my notebook, which he wrapped a ribbon around and tied a bow.  
>I start laughing. "Giving me something that already belongs to me. How sweet." He smiles and I smile back and rip off the ribbon. "What are you doing?" He asks.<br>"Making sure you didn't take what doesn't belong to you." I reply, flipping the book open and flipping through the pages till the one that has the note that he asked me out on. It's there, but the page feels heavy so I flip it over and I stop short.  
>There's a drawing there. I'm being carried by him, back when I was seven and he was eight and he was carrying me home because I broke my leg. He even got us in the same clothing.<br>Underneath it, I see his handwriting he obviously worked really hard to make perfect say 'I don't want a happy ending with you, I want a happy eternity because I can't let this end' and then it says 'happy birthday, I love you' and then he signed the corner.  
>This is probably the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.<br>I'm not really aware of everyone in the room right now. I look him in the eye. He looks weary, his hands shoved in his pockets. I slam the notebook shut, throw my arms around his neck and kiss him. Prim squeals like a pig and starts screaming 'I knew it!'  
>"Your so sweet." I whisper, tears sliding down my cheeks.<br>"You don't hate it?" He asks.  
>"No I don't hate it, I love it!" I kiss him again. "I'll be right back." I turn around and run upstairs to my bedroom.<br>Carefully, I rip out the page and get the sticky tax and put it right at the foot of my bed and stick it there. I flip through the notebook and see he filled pages with what could be our future. I get out a purse backpack and put it in there and go back downstairs.  
>"Well let's go." Haymitch says.<p>

...9...

We sit at iHop. Everyone is chatting happily but I have my head rested against Peeta's shoulder, flipping through the notebook. We got older from when I broke my leg. All of them are real. It showed us with Glimmer on the first day if sixth grade. It showed me leaving school early. Then is showed him alone, upset. Then when I was showing him around school, when we hugged, when we kissed. It keeps going. It shows us in the restaurant we are sitting in now. After this is shows us back in school. It keeps going. It shows us at Prom. The photo after Prom though, I stop flipping and just stare. We're in a bed and both of us are naked. It doesn't show anything because the blankets are covering everything waist down. As for my chest, well I'm laying on top of him so nothing shows.  
>I continue flipping through photos. I'm going to college online; he knows that. It shows me on a computer next to him on a computer and it shows us doing work. It keeps going. It shows us moving in together and then keeps going. He proposes, I say yes. We get married and it shows us in the country, sitting on a fence in our wedding clothes, our hands joined, both of us looking into each other's eyes.<br>It shows little photos, it shows him laying on the couch and then next to him, him sitting up, me standing in front of him with my arms crossed and a pregnancy test on the table that clearly shows positive. It shows me getting bigger and bigger and then it shows us in the hospital with a bundle in my arms and him sitting in the bed next to me, both of us gazing at the child. It keeps going, the kid gets older and we have more kids, they get married and it ends when we're old and sitting on a porch with grand kids.  
>I sigh, content. "Technically I should be upset you filled my entire book and left me without a single page to write my notes, but I'm not. I can always buy a new one." He laughs.<br>"That reminds me," he release my hand and reaches in his bag and hands me the exact same notebook wrapped in ribbon again. "I replaced it." He smiles and I laugh and shake my head. "I only took one page in this one." He takes my hand again. I pull off the ribbon as flip it open to the first page.  
>He's standing in front of my car and I'm laying on the hood. It's spring, the snow has melted and I'm in shorts and a t-shirt. My legs are around his waist and he's looking down at me with our hands joined. Johanna is sitting on my left and Annie is on my right next to Finnick, and they're holding hands. We're all laughing.<br>"Katniss," Johanna gains my attention. I look up at her and she sets strawberry syrup in front of me. "Your mom wants you to have this." I look at the glass sitting in front of me and see it's just plain milk. I wrinkle my nose and pick up the strawberry syrup. Peeta, Johanna, Annie and Finnick watch in disgust as I pour the strawberry syrup in my milk.  
>"That is absolutely revolting." Peeta says.<br>"Shut up," I snap. I pass the strawberry syrup back to my mother and mix it with the spoon.  
>"Your not going to drink that...right?" Peeta asks.<br>"Try it." I reply.  
>"Uh...I'm good." He coughs.<br>"No, try it." I hand it to him. He keeps shaking his head. "Please?" I beg sweetly.

PEETAS POV

I can't say no to her. Although this looks absolutely revolting I have to try it to make her happy.  
>"Fine," I pick up the nasty pink liquid and take a tiny sip.<br>I'm actually surprised at how good it tastes. Katniss smiles, "Like it?" She asks.  
>"It's not bad." I admit.<br>Johanna snickers. "You are so pussy whipped."  
>"I am not." I mutter.<br>"Yes you are." She says.

…..a…..

When Monday morning rolls around, I know that Katniss is going to be confused because Johanna, Annie, Finnick and I are not there. As a matter of fact, we won't be until next Monday.

I suppose I should have told her we're going out of town with my family to Georgia for my Grandmother's seventy fifth birthday.

My phone beeps.

Katniss: _where are you guys?_

Me: _I kind of forgot to tell you that the four of us and my family are going out of town until next Sunday night to Georgia for my Grandma's birthday…_

Katniss: _so I'm going to be alone for a week?_

Me: _ not alone…you have your parents and Prim and Haymitch and Cinna…_

Katniss: _no because they're going to Chicago for Prim's birthday. I'm not going with them because I don't want to fall behind in school. I'm going to be completely alone. Why didn't you tell me?_

Me: _I forgot…I'm really sorry. You know you can call me whenever you want to. I don't care what time it is. _

Katniss: _okay…I love you._

Me: _I love you too. I'll call you when you get out of school, okay?_

Katniss: _okay…_

**Next chapter is going to be SAD AS FUCK but it's going to pick up, trust me. It's going to be happy after this…**

**Sorry this is late, I've been sick since Tuesday and Wednesday and I just went back to school today and I got swamped with homework and study guides and review sheets because I have midterms next week. **


	8. Chapter 8

**This chapter is going to be so emotional and depressing and I will be hysterical writing this.**

**THIS IS A WARNING PEOPLE!**

KATNISS'S POV

This is horrid. Since Peeta, Johanna, Annie and Finnick and Cinna and Haymitch aren't here, the bullying is worse than it has ever been. Since I'm alone, I'm losing my mind and I keep going home hysterical, screaming into my pillow until I pass out. It's Thursday night and I can't do it anymore.

I'm a worthless piece of shit and Glimmer is right, everyone does hate me, I am ugly, nobody likes me, I dress like a scoundrel.

Blood is pouring down my wrist, that I just cut open.

I'm ending it here and now and there isn't a single person that can stop me.

I go on a live website and start the recording, live, so everyone in the world can watch this. I'm in jeans and a t-shirt.

PEETA'S POV

Johanna, Finnick, Annie and I are just walking into my Grandmother's house. My Mom has tears running down my cheeks, along with the rest of the girls and all the guys are white as sheets. "What's the matter?" I ask.

"You should go upstairs." Mom says hurriedly.

"Why?" Johanna demands, stepping into the living room, her hand slams over her mouth and she too, starts crying. Annie shrieks, and Finnick looks like he's going to pass out. I walk into the living room too and see the emblem in the corner that says _ABC Action News_.

And there's Katniss. Clearly, this is live. Blood is pouring down her wrist.

She's telling her story; every single bit.

"And now…I just…don't know if I even deserve to live. Nobody cares about me. Nobody loves me. Glimmer and everyone at school have made that abundantly clear. I'm worthless and I don't help anybody or make anyone happy. I know people say they love me but…they don't. Nobody is actually capable of loving me. I'm not…special. I'm not pretty…I'm not worthy of life. My family says I am; that I don't deserve this life, that I deserve to live, but…see, I don't really think I do. If I deserved to live, I wouldn't be killing myself."

My knees buckle and then I'm on the floor, tears sliding down my cheeks. I can't remember the last time I cried. Rye's eyes are brimmed with tears and so are Graham's. They've told me countless times that they love Katniss like a sister.

I don't want to watch this. I don't want to watch this at all, but my eyes can't seem to leave her face.

She is beautiful and worthy and amazing and incredible and she deserves a perfect life, what the fuck is she talking about.

"I know there are a few people out there that might try and stop me, but…they can't because they're not here. I'm home alone and since none of you assholes know my address, you can't come and stop me. Besides, the door's locked anyways, so have fun getting in." she opens the bottle of pills. "I love sleeping, because that's when you don't feel the pain. I decided to go with sleeping pills, because I'll be sleeping forever and…that just sounds incredible."

Annie is sobbing her eyes out into Finnick's chest. Johanna is crying into her hands, and she scoots closer to me and hugs me, and I hug her back and cry with her. I call her, and I see her eyes flick onto the bedside table. She picks up her phone and tears start to slide down her cheeks and she presses ignore. "Don't try and stop me. I love you but it isn't going to work."

I text her and beg her not to do this. She reads every one and then tosses her phone across the room after silencing this. "She can't do this, can she?" Annie whimpers.

"Well, here is goes." She opens the pill bottle and we watch in horror as she starts to take them, dry swallowing them, one by one. I can hear sirens coming from her end and know someone must be going to stop her.

She's at eight now. I hear her bedroom door burst open and something flies in front of the camera and knocks the bottle right from her hands. "What the fuck Katniss!"

We all sit bolt uprioght. "Is that Glimmer?" Finnick gasps.

"What are you doing here?" her words are slurring. She's about to die. Her eyes are starting to droop. Glimmer shoots across the room and tackle Katniss to the floor. We watch as Katniss struggles with her. Glimmer shoves her hands right down Katniss's throat and we watch as she throws up every pill she just took. "GET OUT!" Katniss screams.

"No! Your fucking crazy! Why are you doing this?"

"What do you car Glimmer? You fucking hate me! You hate everything about me-"

"I don't fucking hate you! I'm fucking jealous of you!" Glimmer shouts. Katniss lunges for the pills but Glimmer shoves her back and steps on all the other ones left.

"Why are you jealous of me? Are you blind?"

"No! I'm jealous of you because you're so fucking pretty and you've got the perfect body and boobs and hair and face and smile and laugh and voice! You even _cry _pretty! I have to cover myself in makeup to even look decent! I can't go around in a sweatshirt and jeans every damn day and still look nice! You have the perfect boyfriend who is probably crying right now! He's in love with you! Can't you see the way he looks at you? Your parents and sister and your grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins all love you! Johanna and Finnick and Annie love you! They would do anything for you! I don't like Cato; I pretend to like him because he's the fucking quarterback! And Clove is a stuck up bitch! I tried to upset you because you always look amazing and I thought maybe if you were just a little bit upset, you would look a tiny bit uglier but god dammit; your radiant! When you came to school and I said I liked your outfit, I meant it! I just said never mind because everyone was staring at it! The guys were following you around but you didn't even notice!"

"They were not following me around." Katniss mumbles.

"Yes they were! Even Cato, my own boyfriend was checking out your ass! You can't kill yourself! That would be the waste of a perfect life."

"I don't have a perfect life. Nobody cares about me." Katniss snaps.

"Oh yeah, what the fuck is this then?" she grabs the notebook that I filled every single page with. "Your boyfriend drew these and every single picture says something about how much he loves you and how he loves you and he doesn't want a happy ending, he wants a happy eternity with you because he loves you so much! I would KILL for a guy like Peeta! Now he's right here for you, he's trying to reach you and your not answering him! Can you imagine how he feels right now? Take a walk in his shoes. What if it were him trying to kill himself right now? What would you be doing?"

"Hating myself for leaving him alone…" Katniss whispers.

"And how fucking much do you want to bet that he's already blamed himself for everything and he's planning his trip home right now? I bet you that he's going to be here before your parents get back and he's a ton of state away from you."

Glimmer is so right.

"Just leave me alone."

"Hell no; I'm not leaving here until Peeta comes home. I'm not going to let you kill yourself. I may say I hate you and treat you like a bitch, but the second we stopped being friends, I've been so alone and depressed. I just fake it at school. You were my best friend Katniss. We had our entire future planned out together and I threw everything away because I was jealous."

"Get out." Katniss tries again.  
>"Not a chance. When someone gets here that will take care of you, then I will leave." She says stubbornly.<br>"I'm going to the bathroom." Katniss snaps.  
>She's going to go in there and stab herself with a knife. "I'll come with you." Glimmer suggests smartly.<br>Katniss glares at her and goes into the bathroom. I hear the sink start.  
>"At least shut the fucking camera off." Katniss snaps.<br>"Alright." The screen goes dark.

KATNISS'S POV

That was, I think, a bipolar attack because now I'm crying and hating myself for doing that in front of everyone. Glimmer cleaned up the vomit. I pace the house. It's nearing dinner time and Glimmer is following me everywhere. I'm leaning over the counter in the kitchen, crying.  
>"You should drink something. You lost a lot of blood." She suggests, getting me milk and putting the strawberry syrup in it. I chug the glass and am pleased when the slight dizziness disappears. I hear the front door slam, making both Glimmer and I look up. Peeta walks in the kitchen and Annie, Finnick, Johanna and his parents and brothers. All of their faces are tearstained. I'm not going to say anything. I silently set my glass down.<br>Peeta eyes Glimmer for a long time. "Thank you." He says quietly. She shrugs.  
>"I'm leaving. She hasn't had dinner and she keeps telling me to get the fuck out." She disappears. I hear the front door click. My wrist is still left open and it's bleeding slightly still, dripping down my hand. Tears are sliding down my cheeks as I stare at him.<br>"Do you guys hate me?" I whisper.  
>"Don't do that again. Ever. Do you hear me? You never, ever do that. If you have any problems you call me."<br>"What if we break up?" I ask.  
>"Are you going to end us? No matter how angry you are?"<br>"No." I mumble.  
>"Them we're never going to break up." He says. He gets the gauze from the shelf above the sink and cleans my wrist with peroxide and then he wraps it in gauze.<br>"I'm sorry for almost killing myself." I whisper.  
>"If Glimmer hadn't come in, you would be dead. Do you realize that? Do you want to be dead?" Rye demands.<br>"No..." I pull my knees against my chest. Peeta pushes my legs down and then pulls me right off the counter with my legs around his waist, hugging me tightly. I bury my head in his shoulder and hug him back. "How did you guys find out? You don't go on the website-"  
>"It was on ABC Action News." Johanna speaks up.<br>That means everyone knows. I hug Peeta tighter because I can't stand the thought.  
>"Katniss!" Prim comes in the door, screaming, crying hysterically. Peeta sets me down as my little sister races into the kitchen. "Don't die sissy!" She runs into my arms. She hasn't called me sissy since she was six. I hug her back tightly. Mom has been hysterical for the last few hours, I can tell. Cinna just looks heartbroken, as does Haymitch and Dad. Her legs are wrapped around my waist. She's ten years old now and I'm still capable of holding her. After a long time, I let her go. "My baby!" Mom bursts into tears and pulls me into a wet hug. I pat her back awkwardly and she pulls away, holding me at arm's length.<br>Everyone starts hugging me and kissing my forehead. Peeta pulls me against his chest again, tightly.  
>"I love you but you're stupid." He pulls away to look me in the eye. "Your fucking stupid for thinking nobody cares about you. For think you are not worthy of life and that your ugly. We all love you to death, you are more than worthy of life and you are the most beautiful person I have ever seen. If I ever, and I mean ever hear anything bad about you leave your mouth again..." He thinks for a moment. "I'll break your phone."<br>"You aren't allowed." I cross my arms. It's my parents phone.  
>"Yes he is." Mom says. "Any one of you are. Destroy her phone and make it impossible for her to ever use it. If she wants a new one she'll buy it herself."<br>"That's not fair." I mumble.  
>"Neither is the way you treat yourself." Peeta says.<br>"I can't help that..."

PEETAS POV

"Yes you can. You can help it. You're going to get through this whether you like it or not because I'm not going to leave your side until every thought of being alone and sleeping all day and crying yourself to sleep and believing Glimmer and killing yourself is completely off your mind. When you stop the eating disorder, the cutting and the depression...no, I still won't leave you alone."  
>"I stopped the eating disorder." She mumbles.<br>"No you didn't. When is the last time you ate?" I ask. She looks down. "Exactly,"  
>"What do you want for dinner?" Her Dad asks. She bites her lip.<br>"Pizza..." She admits.  
>"Pizza it is! You guys are more than welcome to stay." Mr. Everdeen says.<p>

...9...

She takes a shower with Johanna and Annie in there and she gets dressed. Now we're downstairs and instead of letting her sit alone she is planted right on my lap and my arms are wrapped tightly around her middle and I don't plan on releasing her any time soon. "I'm going to bed." She says. She stands up.  
>No, I can't leave her alone. She looks at the look at my face. "Can Peeta, Johanna, Finnick and Annie sleep over?" She asks quietly.<br>"Sure," Mr. Everdeen says. The four of us stand up and follow Katniss upstairs. She lies down on her bed and slides under the covers and scoots all the way over to the wall. I'm in sweats and a white t-shirt, so I tug the shirt over my head and she'd down to my boxers. Johanna shrugs and strips to her bra and underwear, grabs Katniss's throw blanket off her bed, wraps herself in it, steals a pillow and lays down on the floor. I roll my eyes; typical Johanna.  
>"Katniss?" Annie asks.<br>She rolls over, already half asleep. "Hmm?" She asks.  
>"Can I have clothes?"<br>Kat sits up and crawls over my lap. I can't help but stare at her fantastic ass in her tight volleyball shorts. I start getting a boner, so I roll over onto my stomach.  
>"You two are so pure." Johanna says.<br>"Who?" Katniss asks.  
>"You and crazy."<br>"I am not pure." Katniss says.  
>"I bet you won't strip into nothing but your bra and underwear and sleep in it, with Loverboy."<br>"Yeah?" Katniss pulls her tank top off. Johanna looks shocked she's going to do it.  
>I silently pray she's going to do it.<br>Hell, I've never slept in the same bed with her before, and for her to be in her bra and underwear too...  
>Well I don't know how long I am going to last before locking myself in the bathroom. She drops her shorts, picks her phone up off the ground and gets Annie clothes and tosses her dirty clothes into the hamper. She disappears down the hallway and comes back a second later with another throw blanket. She sits down next to me and covers her lap, not bothering to cover her boobs.<p>

KATNISS'S POV

I have eighteen missed calls from my grandmother and twenty from her house and at least ten from everyone with a phone. My entire family lives in Maine and we are actually the only ones on both Mom and Dad's side of the family that lives somewhere else. I take a deep breath and press 'call back' at my Grandma's house phone. It's Thursday, so I know they're all having dinner together.

"Katniss?" Grandma answers.

"Hi Grandma…" I bite my lip.

"Oh my god honey, are you alright?" I can hear everyone in the background demanding for the phone.

"I'm okay…" I admit.

"You're not still with the bully honey, are you?" she demands.

"No, Peeta and Finnick, Annie and Johanna are here and Mom, Dad and Prim are downstairs." I reply.

"Katniss…why?" she whispers.

"I don't want to talk about it." I mumble.

"Katniss…we love you honey…please never forget that. Your stronger than this. Don't let them get to you."

Tears start sliding down my cheeks. "Are you ashamed of me?" I whisper.

"No sweetie, I'm upset that you think nobody cares. Your beautiful and your worthy of life. You deserve a life."

I take a deep breath and let Peeta take me hand and draw small circles on the back of it. "I'm sorry." I whisper.

"It's okay. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm sure." I reply. "I have to do, I just wanted to call you back…"

"Alright, I love you."

"I love you too, bye."

"Bye." She hangs up.

We sit in silence for a while, and I sit back, my legs on Peeta's back. Johanna snickers for some reason.

"What's funny?" Finnick demands.

"Why do you think loverboy is on his stomach?"

Oh, now I get it. I snicker. "I'm sorry, am I bothering you?" I tease. He swats playfully at my hand.

"Shut up," his face is going red, making the four of us burst into laughter.


	9. Chapter 9

**I'm skipping a few months in this chapter because I'm running out of things to write about and I really need the snow to melt off. This isn't the end guys.**

They went home the next day and I haven't seen Peeta since because I'm ditching school. He stays on the phone with me all weekend and when it hits two in the morning and I have to be up in three hours for school, I hang up.

When I wake, I'm nervous. What will people say now that everyone knows about my issues and how I want to die? I shower and pull on red skinny jeans that are really tight, like skintight, and a white tank top with a pushup bra and then a leather jacket. I start to braid my hair but I give up. I force myself to eat because I'm scared of getting my phone destroyed.

Silently, I leave, clutching my phone in my hand.

I have to steady my breathing to keep myself from having a nervous breakdown on the way to school. I park in my place and rest my head on the steering wheel and wait for the song _sorry_ by the Jonas Brothers to finish.

Then I grab my bag and my phone and get out and lock my car door, taking a deep breath before walking up the path and into the school. Every single eye snaps to mine. Glimmer is there, sitting on the little half wall. Cato and Clove are in the corner, glaring at her. Not a word is said, everyone just stares at me.

It takes every ounce of strength in my body to keep myself from bursting into tears and leaving again.

"I'm sorry for laughing at you." Someone says; someone on the football team.

"Yeah Katniss, honestly I never laughed." Someone says. It's a guy with dark skin and dark hair and dark eyes. I recognize him as Thresh. "I be honest, I think your sexy as fuck." I open my mouth to tell him that I have a boyfriend but he puts his hands up. "Hey girl, I respect that you've got a guy, I'm just saying, he's lucky. I've had a crush on you since third grade." He laughs. I raise my eyebrows.

"Is that why you got kicked off the football team?" I ask.

"Yes."

"We can be friends, I guess, but if you touch me in a way I don't like, I'll snap your wrist like a twig."

….a….

Months fly past and before I know it, it's May and finals are literally right around the corner, I got a job at Steak N Shake.

Prom is May 25th, a Saturday. We have Sunday, and then Monday starts finals. We finish finals Friday and then on Saturday we meet at the school at five in the morning and we go to Florida. Cinna says that even though my grades are extraordinary, I need to keep my grades up. Peeta and I still haven't had sex and I'm not upset. I don't want to rush things. It's a week before Prom, May 18th and I am studying my ass off. Peeta hasn't asked me to Prom and I honestly don't know if I want to go. If he asks, I'll go, but if he doesn't, I'm not going.

I've paid for the trip to Florida and I don't know a senior that isn't going. Thresh has joined our 'group' and at first, Peeta wanted nothing to do with him, but now he's alright with him. He does say something when he catches Thresh looking at me though.

I can hear pots and pans banging downstairs and the voices of my family, everyone, because they're all down for Prom and they're here a week early because the kids from Maine are already on summer break.

"That's it," I snarl to myself, having been locked in my bedroom. I grab two backpacks and stuff them with textbooks and paper and pens and everything I could possibly need and then I sling one over each shoulder.

I have on a soft pink skirt, a white crop top bra and a jean jacket with tank top straps, a spiked necklace and I pull on my black leather and storm downstairs, pissed off. "Katniss honey, why don't you join us?" Aunt Effie chirps.

Well she's Effie. She's Haymitch's girlfriend and she isn't related to me yet so I'm not considering her my Aunt. "No." I say curly, going into the kitchen and getting my bag of chips that I bought with my own money and a ton of other snacks and drinks.

"Why not?" Mom asks.

"Because I'm trying to study; don't bother with my phone, I won't have any service." I walk out the back door and jump the fence that leads to the huge field. I'm going to the exact same place that Peeta and I went when we were little kids, the place I broke my leg at. I trudge through the grass. The property is private but I won't get in trouble because the neighbor owns it and she gave us permission to go on it and she told me that other day I can come out here whenever I want. She doesn't use it, it's just there and she keeps it mowed. Since they don't know where I'm going they're going to panic. Since I'm not going to be answering Peeta, he's going to flip and show up at my house. They're going to tell him I went out back but I'm gone and he's going to put two and two together and he's going to come out here. It's a few miles walk. I walk silently, remembering all the memories.

The gigantic oak tree is still tall and healthy, and the branch I fell from is there still. I sit down and lean against its trunk.

Silent, I break out my books and snacks and dive into everything.

…a…

The sun is starting to set now. I don't care; I might just sleep out here. I know that there won't be rabid animals out here tonight and it won't get cold in mid-May.

Peeta sits down next to me and I jump. "You scared the shit out of me!" I gasp.

"Sorry," he mutters. I haven't seen him since we got out of school yesterday and we haven't talked. "Do you love me?" he blurts. Something is bothering him; I can see it. I look up from my Calculus book.

"I love you. You know that." I reply.

"Okay." He adds nothing else.

"Peeta, what's wrong baby?" I ask.

"Nothing," he lies.

"Peeta…if you don't want to tell me I'm not going to force you…you're not mad at me, are you?" I ask.

"Why haven't we had sex yet?" he blurts. Then he exhales sharply and swears under his breath. "Sorry…you don't actually have to answer that. I'm just kidding."

No he isn't kidding. "I don't know…" I trail off. I don't like talking about sex or how nice somebody else's sex was and I hated H.O.P.E. class for that exact reason. I get embarrassed and hell, Johanna is right, I'm pure as fuck. I always have been and I always will be.

"Because…Thresh and Finnick have had sex with their girlfriends and they said that since we haven't had sex we're not in love. I know I love you and if _we are _not in love then it means that you don't love me because I love you more than anything…"

"Well Thresh and Finnick are horn dogs and they think that in order to be in love you have to have sex."

"We've hardly ever made out." he mumbles. "Do you love me but not like my appearance or something?"

"Peeta…it just hasn't happened yet. Every time we get close to making out we get interrupted. And for the sex problem…" I shrug. "I love you Peeta; every single thing about you. Don't listen to Finnick and Thresh."

"Johanna said you don't want to go to Prom with Me." he blurts.

Dammit Johanna. "I never told her that. I told her if I'm not going to prom with you then I'm not going."

"So will you go to Prom with me then?" he demands.

"Okay." I reply.

He sits back against the trunk. "I'm sorry." He whispers.

"For what?" I ask, flipping the page in my study guide. I got this assigned two weeks ago and it's at least twenty pages filled with questions. Everyone is urging me to get them off Google but I won't learn that way. I'm almost done though, I'm on page fourteen. It's not due until Thursday.

"For…putting you on the spot like that."

"It's okay." I reply.

"What if we did start to get close to having sex?" he blurts. "Would you shove me off?"

"No, I would take your shirt off."

"What if I already had my shirt off?"

"Then I would take your pants off."

"What if I already have everything off?" I laugh softly.

"Then I would give you a blow job."

"What if I wanted to touch you; every single inch, would you let me, even if it took hours? Or days or weeks or months or decades or centuries."

"Yes." I reply honestly.

"What if we had sex right now?" he asks.

"I would push you off. We're outside in my neighbor's yard."

His shoulders slump, "Right," he mumbles. I start stuffing everything back into my bag. "We're leaving?" he asks. He looks so innocent and sweet and it makes me smile.

"No, I'm just putting my stuff away. We never get to be alone. Like really alone. We're miles from my house and from Sae's house. Nobody is going to bother us out here." I lay down in the grass and he scoots closer to me. His hand outstretches towards my body for a second but then it drops into his lap. "Peeta, if you want to touch me, you can, just don't take my clothes off me." Sae is my neighbor, the one who lets us back here.

He hesitates for a moment before his hands start to wander my body. He sits me up and slides off my jean jacket. He runs his hands up and down my legs but stops at my skirt. He looks hot. He's only in black basketball shorts and a tight white t-shirt that shows his abs through. He runs his hands all across my stomach, not touching my chest although I know it's killing him. His fingers leave hot tracks that feel incredible across my skin. He runs his fingertips along my cheekbones, my nose, he traces my lips, and he looks into my eyes before running his hands over them, making me close them. He traces my eyelids and my forehead and my ears. He runs down my cheek, down my neck to my shoulders, letting his fingers linger there for a moment before moving down my arms to study my hands. He traces the patterns on the pads of my fingers and moves his hands to wander my stomach again. His eyes will occasionally flick to my chest and his hand will twitch. I laugh softly when he does it for the third time. "What?" he murmurs.

"I said you couldn't take my clothes off. I didn't say you couldn't touch me." I whisper. His eyes flick tom my chest again. He doesn't say anything; his hand just rests high up on my thighs. He looks like he doesn't quite understand, so I grab his wrist and rest his hand right on my left breast, the only separating him from my skin being the crop top I'm wearing.

He sucks in a sharp breath and his cool blue eyes go dark, filled with love and lust. He has a boner, but he makes no move to hide it. "So beautiful," he mumbles. "You're so incredible. I'm in love with you."

"With me, or my boobs?" I ask. He smiles and I laugh.

"With you," He whispers.

"I love you too." I whisper. His hand draws back and rests on my stomach now.

We stare at each other for a long time, his blue eyes melted into my gray ones.

I can't take it. I scramble into his lap and kiss him, swaddling him.

…a…

We don't get back to my house until three in the morning. We kissed heavily from seven at night to two in the morning.

It was so hard not to rip his clothes off, but we did cross boundaries and hands definitely touched one another in places forbidden to anyone else. "Your leaving?" I whisper.

"Let's go somewhere." He whispers back.

"It's three in the morning." I remind him. "Just sleep over." I take his hand.

"I can't sleep over." he whispers back.

"Why not?" I whisper.

"Because your entire family is here and I really want to take your clothes off. I told you a while ago I can't control myself around you and I meant it."

"Okay…will I see you tomorrow…or I mean later?"

"Probably not, I have to work." He says.

"Oh…" I sigh. "I'll see you tomorrow then, as if Monday." I kiss him for a long time and walk him to the front door and wait until his car is completely out of sight to shut it and lock the deadbolt.

"Katniss?" Dad asks behind me. I jump and whip around.

"Yeah Dad?" I ask.

"Did you just get home? At three in the morning?" he asks.

"Uh yeah…is that a problem?" I ask.

"No just…" he looks me up and down. "Did Peeta find you?" he asks suspiciously.

"Yeah, why?" I ask.

He frowns. "Katniss Joy, are you still a virgin?"

"Dad!" I whisper shout.

"Answer the question." He answers loudly.

"God Dad, yes, I am!" I snarl.

"Are you lying? I think your lying."

"Well I'm not lying!" I shriek.

"What are you two shouting for?" Uncle Haymitch walks into the kitchen.

"Do you believe that she is a virgin?" Dad demands. Other adults in the family come into the kitchen and they all agree that no, they think I've lost my virginity.

"I haven't had sex!" I snarl.

"Well why were you out so late?" mom asks suspiciously.

"Because I was studying…" I lie.

"I bet she's a virgin, but they were screwing around; using their hands and stuff." Haymitch smirks at the rest of the adults and they all snicker.

"God! Fuck you!" I shove him out of my way as I storm upstairs, my face flushed bright red.

"I bet that's why she is in a skirt!" Haymitch add loudly. They're laughing hysterically and it just gets louder when they hear my door slam.


	10. Chapter 10

**Katniss's prom dress link will be in my bio because I've literally got no way to explain this. **

I wear blue and white short shorts and a white tank top to school with a jean jacket. I walk in the door with my face in my Calculus textbook. I slam right into someone. "Sorry," I mutter, stepping around them. The person grabs my arm to pull me to a halt. I look up, irritated, but it wipes away when I see it's Peeta. "Hi," I mumble. He doesn't bother my studying as I walk to our table. I'm definitely not the only one taking it this seriously. All the seniors are, and the juniors, a few of the sophomores but none of the freshmen. They're too dumb to realize how important finals are. Johanna has three textbooks in front of her and Annie is sharing one with her and Finnick has two in front of himself and Thresh has six and he's claimed a spot on the floor. I open my bag and get out all seven textbooks and lay them on the floor around me and get out a piece of paper and ask Peeta to quiz me. It is studying for both of us.

"You're not even going to give me a kiss?" Peeta demands.

"Sorry," I kiss him and go right back to studying.

"Told you," Finnick says.

"You're wrong. I talked to her about it." Peeta snaps.

"Oh and how did that go?" Thresh teases.

"Both of you shut the fuck up!" I snarl. People near us look up and everyone at our table look up in surprise. I move my textbooks to the table. "You listen up. I'm trying to study. If in don't pass these exams I can't go to Florida. Either you guys shut the fuck up or I sew your damn mouths shut!"

"Sorry Kitty, I forgot about your Florida issue." Finnick grumbles.

"Sorry Kat," Thresh moves to the table.

I hear a freshmen walk past with another girl and shout 'it's so unfair the stupid seniors get to go to Florida!' she said it pretty damn loud, and every single senior in the entire cafeteria looks at her with a deathly glare.

"Bitch, we're not stupid. You have to earn it, and you don't study for shit." I snap.

The fact that I got my period last night just pisses me off and I'm in a bad mood and I'm trying to fucking study and for her to say we're stupid just pisses me off even more.

"Bitch, don't call me a bitch. I don't have to study for shit because I know everything." She snaps. A lot of the seniors start laughing.

"Fine, you know everything, do you?" I slam my hands down on the table and stand up, get a piece of paper and write down a calculus problem. I hand her the paper and the pencil. "Let's see you answer 12th grade calculus." Johanna snickers. The girl looks down at the paper in her hands.

"I…can't." she says.

"Yeah? This is gonna be on your exam."

It won't, but she doesn't know that. Her eyes widen. "Really?" she asks.

"Yes, go fucking study!"

"You were better when you were trying to kill yourself!" she snaps.

Okay, that hurts, a whole lot.

"BITCH!" Johanna slaps her right across the face. "YOU FUCKING BITCH! YOU DON'T SAY THAT YOU LITTLE CUNT!"

"What's a cunt?" she asks.

"YOU ARE!" Johanna screeches. "APOLOGIZE BEFORE I RIP YOUR FUCKING HAIR OUT!"

"I'm sorry!"

She runs for a table, grabbing her textbook from her book. A lot of the seniors laugh because we know that this shit won't be on her exam. I sit down in silence, hiding my emotions and melt in my book.

….a….

"Miss Everdeen, this is not English four." My Gym teacher says. We're walking track and I'm studying.

"Come on coach, I'm still walking track." I say.

"Study this." He hands me the study guide for gym and I leave my English textbook on a bench and continue walking track, studying the worksheet.

When school gets out I go right to work and then I work till eight, go home and work on that stupid twenty page study guide and then I let Mom force food down my throat and continue studying.

I go as far as putting my study guide for Creative Writing in a clear sleeve as study it in the shower. I stay up until three in the morning studying until I pass out at the table.

When I wake up, it's eleven in the afternoon. "Fuck!" I get up and start pulling random clothes on, grabbing my bag and all my books and running downstairs.

"You're going to school?" Mom asks, shocked.

"I overslept! I missed so much review, oh god." I rush out the door.

I nearly slam into Peeta in the hall. "Your at school!" he kisses me.

"I didn't pass out until three and I slept till eleven!" I exclaim.

"Well I got your work for your other teachers for you." he hands me some papers.

More study guides.

Fuck my life.

….a….

"Katniss put the books down for just three hours! It's Thursday night, Prom is tomorrow and you don't even have your dress!" Grandma exclaims.

"I can't or I'll fail. I'll just find something tomorrow."

"Katniss, please," Mom begs.

"Fine!" I snap. "If I fail-"

"If you fail then Daddy and I will pay to send you to Florida anyways."

"I still can't fail-"

"I know." Mom says. "Three hours won't kill you. I'm surprised you don't have the books recognized already."

The girls force me into the car, refusing to let me bring books.

I took pictures of every page in each book, so I'm studying when we walk in the door of the shop. "Alright, just look around and find one you like. You're not paying so don't look at the price."

I'm used to looking at the price and doing math in my head. I'm not on my parent's phone or insurance or any of that anymore. The only thing I'm taking from them is a roof over my head. I feed myself, I buy everything I need for myself, I do everything for myself.

I wander around then dress shop, studying in my head as I look at dresses. "What color? White?" Effie asks.

"No…something…exotic but not annoying…"

"So like coral?" Grandma asks.

"Yeah, like coral." I agree. I love that color. My phone beeps.

Baby: _what color is your prom dress?_

Me: _um…I don't have one…_

Baby: you don't…have one?

Me: _well I'm looking for one now but I don't have it yet…_

Baby: _do you have any idea when you will have it? _

Me: _before tomorrow…_

Baby: _hon, I need a legit answer…_

Me: _uh…_

I see a mint green dress and I check the size and see it's my size and it is absolutely beautiful.

It has a hole in between my boobs but only a small one. It's extremely hard to explain.

Baby: _Kat…_

Me: _i'm a girl and girls need time. Can you wait like…ten minutes…_

Baby: _okay…do you even care why I need to know?_

Me: _yes but I have a feeling you won't tell me_

Baby: _because I need it for that thing in the pocket of the tux._

Me: _those things Mr. Mosby always has in Zach and Cody?_

Baby: _exactly!_

Me: _I miss that show._

Baby: _I've got Netflix on my laptop and I have a hot spot for internet. How about we watch it on the bus on the way to Florida?_

Me: _I think all the girls are in one bus and the boys in another. _

Baby: _that's fucked up._

Me: _I know_

Baby: _well you have a hotspot too, right?_

Me: _yeah._

Baby: _so we can Skype!_

Me: _I guess...or facetime Your adorable.._

Baby: _I wish I could see you. in can't see you till tomorrow. Your not going to school, right? Nobody is going to be there anyways. And no facetime, the screen is too small. _

Me: _nah I'm gonna ditch tomorrow. And okay Skype it is._

Baby: _so I won't see you till tomorrow?_

Me: _we'll skype…_

Baby: _okay, the dress Katniss._

Me: _shit I forgot I'll brb_

"I think this is it." I call. All the girls with me come rushing over.

"This is perfect. Try it on." Effie grabs it, shoves it at me and pushes me into the dressing room. I strip down to my strapless bra and panties and struggle to get into the dress. After getting pissed, I stick my head out, grab the back of my sisters shirt and pull her in with me, shutting the door before anyone can see what I have got to offer. She helps me into the dress and it fits perfectly. She squeals and opens the door and pushes me out.

"It's perfect! The perfect size and everything!" Mom claps her hands.

I love this dress. I am in love with this dress. I will cry if this dress gets ruined. "This is it." I say seriously.

PEETA'S POV

I want to see her again before Prom. I really want to. We're meeting there because Katniss has said they're going to be late. It's midnight and it's killing me because I know she is still awake. I give in and call her.

"Hey," she asks quietly.

"Did I wake you up?" I ask her.

She sighs softly, "I'm so frustrated right now." She mumbles.

"Why? What's wrong? Are you okay? Katniss I'm on my way-"

"I can't sleep. Geez, calm down crazy, no, but seriously I'm so overtired and exhausted and I can't sleep; I've been in bed since eight and sleep just isn't coming."

"Want me to come hold you?" I ask. I will do it and she knows it.

"Yes but don't. You need to sleep too." She says.

"Wait, you really do?" I ask.

"No." she says.

I sigh quietly. "I was hoping you would say yes." I mumble. "I really, really, really miss you."

"Peeta you just saw me at one." She laughs.

"I know but that was almost twelve hours ago. That was eleven hours, 660 minutes ago, and 39600 seconds ago." I complain as I stand up and pull on a pair of basketball shorts.

"And you only have to wait till six to see my again."

"That's a day and something." I groan as I rake my fingers through my hair and grab my car keys and my wallet and walking downstairs.

"I know…I miss you too, but we're going to have to deal with it. Although I really wish I could hug you…" she sighs. I start my car and pray to god she didn't hear it.

"Katniss your making me sad." I admit.

"Sorry, I'll hang up." She whispers.

"Don't hang up." I reply. "I'll stay with you until you fall asleep."

"Okay…" I hear a noise and I think she's moving around in her bed. I shut off my headlights as I pull into her driveway and I get out of the car and sit down on the hood.

"Kat?" I ask.

"Yes?" she sounds frustrated and I know it's because she can't sleep.

"You should come outside." I reply. The line goes dead. I sit on the hood, my feet on the driveway. The front door opens and I hear her whispering to someone.

"Please?" I hear her ask. She pauses. "Yes Mom, I promise." She says. "Okay," she walks out and shut the door behind her, running off the porch and right over to me, right into my arms. I bury my head in her cocoanut shampoo as my arms wrap tightly around her. She doesn't say anything for a long time.

"Are you okay?" I run my fingertips up and down my arms and I feel goose bumps rise, and I smile at the reaction she had.

"Peeta?" she whispers. "Will you sleep over?" she asks so sweetly and innocently.

"Katniss I told you the other day I can't control myself-"

"Please?" she asks desperately. "I just asked my Mom and she said yes. Just stay out of my closet."

"Katniss…" I hesitate.

"Please?" she looks up at me. Tears are in her eyes and I think it might just be because she's overtired because she isn't about to cry. Or she's so tired she's about to start crying. "But you need to leave by ten, that's all. Please? Please Peeta? Pleeeeease?"

"Alright…" I take a deep breath and tap her nose. "Only because you said please," I kiss her forehead.


	11. Chapter 11

**Katniss is going to have a problem at the start of this chapter, but it will turn out okay.**

Johanna, Annie and I are getting our hair done for the dance and I literally have no clue what this crazy chick is doing. I told her to curl my hair and pin it up in the back but she's rubbing some weird goo in it. I don't care, really. This is her job; she knows that she's doing. We're with Thresh's girlfriend Jade. She goes to another high school.

I scroll through Instagram photos. This is a French hair salon so they're speaking in French, I keep laughing because they're talking shit about the four of us and I took French all through high school and I've studied that class and have all the textbooks basically memorized so I know what they're saying.

"Cette chienne défile à travers son téléphone!" the one doing my hair snarls. She said 'This bitch is scrolling through her phone!'

"Qu'est-ce qu'un gosse riche." The lady doing Jade's hair says. She said 'what a rich brat.'

I snicker. Johanna does too, because she's on Google translate typing everything in they're saying.

I can't speak French and I don't know anything about hair in French so I just spoke in English and pretended to know what they're saying even though I had no clue. Right now though I know what they're saying because they're simple sentences. "Eh bien ce n'est pas très agréable." I speak up. I said 'well that's not very nice.' All I know how to say is curl that has anything to do with hair. And obviously the word hair.

Johanna laughs and both of them go pale, mutter "Désolé." Meaning sorry, and continue with our hair.

…a….

I can't fucking believe this. I'm laboring my breathing and trying my best not to fucking grab the hair scissors and stab the bitch that did my hair.

Because instead of curling it and pinning it up like I _told her to_ she fucking dyed my damn hair _blond_.

Johanna, Annie and Jade are silent, careful with the look on my face.

"Je ne suis pas payer le plein prix pour cela." I snap. 'I'm not paying full price for this.'

The woman looks irritated. "Vous devez." She snaps back. 'you have to'

"J'ai demandé à boucles. Pas." I snarl. 'I asked for curls, not this.'

Her eyes widen and she starts apologizing a mile a minute.

She doesn't make me pay anything, and I speed the rest of the way home. "I'm not going!" I shout, storming into the house.

"What do you mean you're not going?" Mom demands. I walk into the living room and everyone covers their mouths with their hands.

"I told her to curl my hair and pin it up and she dyed my hair _blond_."

"It's not that bad, Katniss. You look like your mother with gray eyes." Cinna tries.

"It looks terrible!" I snap.

"Well I hope you didn't pay!" Effie gasps.

"I didn't." I reply.

"I don't know what you're so upset about. It looks gorgeous." Prim says.

"Yeah, honestly…it doesn't look that bad." Johanna says.

"I hate this." I groan.

"What are you worried about? Peeta?" Annie asks.

"Yes…and it looks horrible."

"I'm calling him."

"Annie you can't!" Mom gasps.

"Either that or she will refuse to go." We watch in silence. "Peeta…we have a tiny problem…" she pauses. "Well…Katniss is refusing to go to Prom now…" she listens again for a long time and I know he's shooting her questions. "No…see…the lady at the salon…she dyed her hair…blond…and…Katniss is pretty pissed off and she's refusing to go to Prom." She smirks and holds the phone out to me. I sigh and take it.

"What?" I demand.

"Why does it matter what color your hair looks? It grows back." He says.

"You don't understand. I look horrible." I argue.

"Bullshit. It is physically impossible for you to look horrible Katniss. You look amazing in everything. Please go? Please Katniss?" he begs.

"I do not look amazing in everything." I argue.

"Yes you do. Please Katniss? I really don't care what color your hair is." He begs. I bite my lip for a long time.

"Fine!" I hang up on him.

PEETA'S POV

"What happened bro?" Rye asks. I'm in a t-shirt and jeans and I'm not getting ready till five. All my family is here and none of them have ever met Katniss before.

"Kat's upset and doesn't want to go because the lady dyed her hair blond." I grumble.

"That's horrible!" Aunt Alexandra gasps her hand over her heart. "I wouldn't show my face for months!"

"I agree." Mom says.

"Females are weird." I mutter.

"Well you're in love with one so get used to it or kiss her goodbye. That's what I had to do." Dad says.

"But she's still going." I mutter.

"She must really love you then." Aunt Alexandra says.

…l…...

I shower, leave my hair curly, put my tux on and shoes and then I'm ready.

"You're not going to do anything with your hair?" Mom asks.

"No." I reply.

Well let's take picture with the three of you boys." It's Thresh, Finnick and I. We're meeting the girls there and I'm honestly nervous to see Katniss. She really does look radiant all the time. She can't not be beautiful it's impossible.

We stand together for pictures. "Alright I'm done." Finnick says. He's like my other brother and he's been my best friend, along with Johanna and Annie since the second semester of sixth grade.

"No way Finnick," Mom says.

"Mom." I groan.

"Enough. You three are eighteen years old! Start acting like it!" Mom snaps. We stand through way too many more pictures, and finally we're released. They follow us to the place. I don't even know what it is called; I just know it was rented for us.

When we arrive, I see a ton of familiar faces and everyone stares at us at the fact that we're alone.  
>"Bro I can't believe Kitty is blond." Finnick says.<br>"I know man but don't give her shit about it. Just act like normal. She's upset about it and I don't want to fuck up her day even worse."  
>"Yeah, I guess." Finnick says. Someone tap my shoulder and I turn around, and my eyes must turn to saucers.<br>Holy fuck. Holy good god.  
>She bites her lip, and I have to shut my eyes for a second to keep a hold on things. "Holy shit." I finally blurt.<br>"I know. I look terrible." She mumbles.  
>"You look...you look like..."<p>

KATNISS'S POV

"This is why I didn't want to come. I look so ugly that you don't even have a word for how-" she isn't wearing any if that shit on her lips so I kiss her to shut up.  
>"I don't even have a word for how beautiful you look." Annie walks up to Finnick and he goes in a trance, and Jade goes to Thresh.<br>"So I don't look bad?" I ask.  
>"Katniss, you look incredible. You...I can't..." He sighs sharply. "You gained like five inches." He lifts the bottom of my dress.<p>

PEETAS POV

"I have to tell you something." She says, her face going serious all the sudden.  
>"What?" I ask.<br>She leans closer to me and whispers, "I really need to hold onto your hand because I feel like I'm walking in stilts." She looks me in the eyes, and I laugh because she acts so serious.  
>She grabs my arm all of the sudden and looks over both shoulders to make sure nobody saw. I laugh. "Stop it." She hisses, fighting a smile.<br>"Sorry." I reply.  
>"I'm only playing." She says, looking guilty. I cup her cheek.<br>"I know you are." Her dress is gorgeous, her necklace is gorgeous, she is gorgeous. "What are these things called?" I tap the shiny thing with three diamonds on it that is stuck to her ear.  
>"Seriously?" She laughs. "It's an earrings."<br>"Is it stuck to it?" I ask, tugging on it.  
>"Ow! No, it's a piercing." She says, swatting playfully at my hand.<br>"You have piercings?" I ask. "Is your mom mad?"  
>"My mom wanted me to do it. I got them done when I was one years old. You got them for me for my seventh birthday, remember?"<br>I frown. "No, I made you a card. My mom got you those flower sick things."  
>"Yeah, earrings," She laughs. I shake my head.<br>"No because your earring is a circle and those were sticks." I reply.  
>"No honey," she grabs my hand again and looks around again. "It's a needle."<br>"You stab yourself every time you wear them?" I ask.  
>"No...it's like..." She looks around and then leans closer to me. "When people have sex they're not getting stabbed with the dick, it goes it because these a hole." She whispers in my ear. We both start laughing at her explanation.<br>"So there's a hole?" I ask.  
>She takes my right hand and opens it up. "Can you hold into my arm?" She asks. "Or whatever. Just keep me standing." I put my left hand on her arm and she takes out the earring and places it into my hand.<br>"Pretty." I pick it up. "So you shove this needle into the hole and that's it? Does it feel good?" It takes her a second.  
>"Peeta!" She gasps, laughing. I smile.<br>"What? It's a legit question!" I ask innocently.  
>"Where'd the earring go?" She asks. I look down at my hand to see it dropped at my side. "Peeta?" She asks, frantic, grabbing my wrist and opening my empty hand. "You lost it?" She asks.<br>"I...Katniss I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to I swear to god. I forgot it was in my hand." He says.  
>"It's okay, but can you help me find it?" She asks.<br>"Yes. Katniss I'm really sorry." We start looking around us. She lifts up the hem of her dress and looks around her feet.  
>"Yo Brainless, this is yours, right?" Johanna holds out her earring.<p>

"Yes, thanks Jo." Katniss takes it and I watch as she puts a needle through her ear, which makes me flinch.

"It doesn't hurt? Not even a little bit?" I ask.

"Nope," she smiles. I take both her hands and pull her closer to me.

"My family wants to meet you." I whisper. Her eyes flick over my shoulder and panic flashes in her eyes.

"Why didn't you tell my they were coming?" she whispers frantically.

"Because I forgot…listen…they're going to love you. Just smile and converse and…think before you speak."

"I don't want…" she trails off

"We're getting married one day, right?" I ask.

"I don't see myself with anyone else…" she mumbles.

"Then your going to have to meet them one day."

"Yes, when I'm older and wiser…not eighteen and stupid…"

"You are not stupid." I argue.

"Peeta…" she's nervous.

"Listen to me." I drop her hands and take her face in my hands. "They're going to love you. Hell, they already do love you. Please baby…just do this for me."

She hesitates, searching my eyes for a long time. "Okay…" she bites her lip and then smiles. "Only because you said please…"

I smile because I said the exact same thing to her last night. "I love you." I kiss her.

"I love you too." She smiles.

I take her hand and pull her over to my family. They stare at her. "Peeta, is this your girlfriend?" Aunt Alexandra asks.

"Yes, this is Katniss Everdeen,"

"Hi…" she smiles softly and waves. She can be extremely shy when it comes to meeting new people.

"I'm Peeta's Aunt Alexandra." She sticks her hand out and Katniss shakes it. "Even though they messed your hair up…you still look radiant!" Everyone starts nodding in agreement.

I know if she knew my family or if it was just my parents and brothers she would say 'well I still hate it' but this time she just says, "Oh…thank you."

"Pictures!"

Katniss's mom starts freaking out about pictures, and I hear Katniss groan, almost inaudibly next to me and mutter, "I fucking hate pictures," under her breath. I laugh quietly and her eyes snap up to mine. "You heard that?" she asks.

"Yes." I reply.

"I said that out loud? Was it loud?" she looks around.

"No, I was the only one that heard it." I reply. I nudge her arm. "It's okay. So do I." I smile.

We have to do a ton of photos, one which was nearly impossible, where I'm holding Katniss bridal style in the middle, Thresh to my left holding Jade, Finnick to my fright holding Annie and then Johanna sitting on my shoulders. I almost dropped Katniss because Johanna kicked her on accident, but we're all laughing so it doesn't really matter. Then we each have to do one alone, and then with our dates; one where we have to kiss.

"Can we take a picture with Katniss?" Rye and Graham have been whispering and snickering under their breaths to one another and I can tell that this is going to be hell for Katniss. They're dressed up for us. Both of them are in jeans and button down shirts.

"Sure, go ahead." Mrs. Everdeen says.

"No, they really shouldn't…they've been back there laughing and whispering since we started doing pictures." I argue.

"Oh lighten up Peeta, they won't do anything." Mom says. Katniss faces both of the boys and says something and both of their eyes widen. I see her smirk and pat their chests.

"Understand?" she asks.

"Yes." They both say. I know she just threatened them. Oh Katniss, I love her.

I laugh and shake my head. Rye arches his eyebrows at Graham and Graham nods. Katniss narrows her eyes at them and then they turn to face the camera.

They each put their arm on each shoulder, and right before the picture is taken they turn and kiss her cheek, her jaw drops open, the picture is taken and then the two boys start laughing as she wipes off my cheeks, shooting them daggers. "Oh come on, you're going to be our sister on day, right?" Rye teases. "It's our job to piss you off."

Katniss hisses something and they both walk away without another word.

I'm laughing my ass off.

"Why are you laughing?" Katniss asks.

"Because you have to say a few words to them and they run away like babies!" She too starts laughing.

"Alright people, let's go inside!" Cinna says since he's the one opening the doors to let everyone in. I move to Katniss and take her hand.

"You don't scare us!" Rye calls to Katniss. Katniss shoots them a warning look and both boys walk away.

….a….

KATNISS'S POV

We've been dancing for at least three hours and we've been sitting for a while. We haven't had a slow song but I'm nervous to have one because I can't really dance to slow songs. We're sitting around and Peeta left to go to the bathroom about ten minutes ago. I hear the fast music stop. "How about we slow it down a bit?" cheers fill the air.

My head snaps up at the song.

This is _When You Look Me in the Eyes_ by _The Jonas Brothers_.

Well this explains why Peeta was gone for so long. He's at my side suddenly, taking my hand. "Dance with me." he whispers. I smile and stand up.

"Is this why you were gone so long?" I ask. He nods and pulls me to the dance floor where a ton of people are at. A guy named Blight from another school caught his girl from our school cheating and he asked Johanna to dance and I can tell she really likes him. "I can't really dance." I admit.

"Just stand on my feet." He says. Most of us took our shoes off a while ago. I stand on his feet, pulled flush against his chest. We dance around for a while. "I think we need to talk." He says. I look up into his eyes.

"Hmm?" I ask.

"When I graduate, I'm moving out." he says.

"Okay…" I trail off.

"Like…out of the state, out of Illinois."

I take a deep breath. "Oh."

"I was thinking going to the community college in Miami…where you don't live at the college…" he continues.

"Your moving to Florida?" I whisper.

"Yes." He says.

"What about us?" I ask.

"That's just it Katniss…" he sighs.

"Are you breaking up with me?" I ask, tears welling in my eyes. He pulls me closer to him and kisses my forehead.

"No. I want you to come with me to Miami. We can get an apartment together and we're going there in a week anyways…I bet we can get Cinna to let us go look." He says.

"Are you asking me to move in with you?" I whisper.

"Yes." He replies. "You don't have to answer right now…I'm not leaving until after graduation…"

"What if I want to answer right now?" I rest my head on his shoulder.

"Then you can…I just don't want you to jump to an answer. Even after I leave and you say no…if you change your mind, you can still come."

"I want to, Peeta." I whisper, lifting my head back off his shoulder.

"You do?" he asks.

"Yes, I do." He spins me and pulls me flush against his chest. "Really?" he asks hopefully.

"Really." I whisper. "We never get to be alone. We have been actually alone one time and we didn't even get to do what we wanted."

He snickers, "Well that one time I was pretty…happy." He says.

"Yes, but…don't you wish we could have…" I lean closer and whisper in his ear. "Actually _seen_ what we were touching?"

"Yes." He mutters.

"When we're alone we don't have to worry about anything."

"Yeah, I guess. I just don't want to drift from Johanna and Annie and Finnick and Thresh."

"Well Jo said she wants to go somewhere with no snow but not California because the earthquakes and I said Florida and she said maybe. Finnick said the other day that since he loves the ocean he might move somewhere else, I said Florida then, too and he said probably. Annie said wherever Finn goes is where she goes. As for Thresh…I don't know."

"Well maybe we'll just have to go back to the five of us." he says. I don't know if Peeta really likes Thresh all that much.

"Did you tell your family?" I change the subject.

"No…I was waiting to know if you were coming…maybe we can tell them together." He suggests.

"I guess so." I mumble. The song isn't slow anymore so we go back to our seats where we've been sitting.

"Let's not go home tonight." He says. Jo, Blight, Annie, Finn, Thresh and Jade all look at us. "Let's go to a hotel or something. Nobody really wants to go home." He says.

"I guess. We can get our own rooms." Johanna suggests.

"Annie and I are sharing." Finnick says.

"That's what I mean. Each couple gets their own room."

"That's a great idea." Thresh says.

"I don't know, I'm getting kind of bored, aren't you guys?" Johanna asks.

"I want to go to the beach." Finn complains.

"Me too, Johanna grumbles.

"By the way, Katniss and I are moving to Miami after graduation."

"Me too." Johanna says.

Finnick sighs and looks at Annie with an innocent look. "I want to move to Miami. But oh well…" he trails off and looks at Annie again before looking away. "I'll just get over it." He looks back at Annie and she laughs and kisses him.

"So we'll move to Miami."

"Okay!" Finnick says.

PEETA'S POV

Katniss sighs and rests her head against my shoulder. She's leaning fully against me and I can hardly think straight because the side of her left breast is pressed up against my right arm. My mind is foggy and my thoughts go dark and musty as my imagination takes control and I watch myself undress her and- "Peeta?" her voice is soft and gentle, ripping me from my thoughts. "Are you okay?" she lifts her head off my shoulder to look me in the eyes.

I feel guilty looking at her. We've only been dating for about four months now and I can't control my thoughts. I want her to damn bad but I really don't want to do something she doesn't want to do. I won't take her innocence unless she makes the first move.

Like last week, at the oak tree in the field, the only reason I allowed my hands to wander beneath her skirt was because she slipped her hands under my jeans and boxers. "Peeta?" she asks again.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I reply.

"Are you sure?" she asks.

"Yes." I reply. She rests her head back against my shoulder again, tracing patterns on the palm of my hand.

"I don't know about you guys but I'm bored as fuck. Who's ready to leave?" Johanna sits up.

"Me." Finnick stands up.

"We're leaving?" Thresh asks.

"Blight and I are."

"So are we." Finnick takes Annie's hand. I look down at Katniss and she pulls her heels back on and stands up, grabbing her silver clutch. I stand up too, and she takes my hand.

"Someone call four cabs." Johanna says. Katniss pulls out her phone from her clutch.


	12. Chapter 12

This is so awkward and it isn't supposed to be. She's in nothing but her bra and underwear and I'm in nothing but my boxers. She isn't touching me and we aren't speaking, just laying here.

She exhales sharply and sits up. "What the fuck, Peeta?" she snaps.

"What?" I ask.

"We're moving in together and we can't even be alone together without it being awkward." She says.

"I'm sorry." I apologize.

"Why are you sorry?" she demands.

"I don't know." I answer honestly. She laughs quietly and scoots closer to me and throws her right leg over me and sits down right on my groan. I find my dick reacting immediately. She stares at me and I know she feels it.

I grit my teeth as my hands ache to release her from her bra.

_No way, Peeta, you said to let her make the first move._

She's staring at me with such intensity. Her blond hair is cascading her down back in soft waves. She isn't very bothered by it anymore. Any signs of makeup are erased from her face and she looks so beautiful, her gray eyes ashy. Slowly, she reaches behind her and her bra comes loose. Her eyes never leave mine as she slides her bra down her arms and tosses it onto the floor.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! That counts as a move, right? Right?_

She's reading every single thought in my head and processing the looks on my face, figuring out exactly what I am thinking. My mind stops functioning as my hands slide up her baby smooth sides, coming to a stop right below her breasts. She shifts on top of me and leans down to capture my lips with hers, in an extremely slow, passionate kiss.

_Okay, that is definitely a move._

…..a…..

I watch her as she sleeps. The blankets are only covering from both our waists down; her head is on my arm and she's pressed against my side without a single article of clothing covering either of us. Her hair is all over the place and she looks incredibly beautiful, her hand in a fist right over my heart. Her lips are parted slightly and her chest rises and falls slowly in an even pace.

She's so incredibly beautiful. She moves her head around my arm and takes a deep breath and slowly, her eyes open, and I know the first thing she sees is my eyes. She looks down at the state both of us are in and her cheeks flush. "Hi…" she whispers.

"Hi," I pull her closer to me.

"I love you." she shifts to give me a kiss. "I'm gonna go and take a shower. Finals tomorrow." She sits up and stretches, her arms above her head, a big yawn escaping her lips.

"I forgot about finals." I admit. Her eyes widen and she stares at me.

"Have you studied at all since school Thursday?" she asks.

I hesitate. "No…" She grabs her phone off the bedside table and does something, handing it to me. "I have a picture of every page in every textbook on there."

KATNISS'S POV

I go and take a shower. I study silently in my head and think real hard about everything I could possibly need to know. I've got down Chemistry and Calculus and English four pretty good. I've got down gym and I've got down Creative Writing. I've basically got everything down, the one class I really need to focus on is Government. I know my shit in that class but there is some things I forget about it.

I shut the water off and get out. I wrap a towel around myself and stare at myself in the mirror.

"Hey Kat?" Peeta calls.

"What?" I call back. A second later, he's right outside the door.

"Can I come in?" he asks.

"Yeah," I reply. The door opens and he's in his boxers.

"Who's this?" he asks. He hands me my phone and I see Gale Hawthorne. He's my cousin. He's the only person that doesn't live in Maine.

"That's Gale." I reply.

"How do you know him?" he asks.

I guess it does seem suspicious, because he's got me wrapped in a hug.

As a matter of fact, he lives in Florida and I haven't really seen him since I was twelve. "He's my cousin." I reply.

"Does he live in Maine? How come I've never seen or heard of him?"

"No, he lives in Florida the last I heard. Peeta I haven't seen or talked to him since I was twelve…and even then I really didn't talk to him, just kind of ignored him telling me to get better-what are you going through my pictures for anyways?"

"I wasn't, I was trying to find the Chemistry book and I scrolled up too far and well…I got curious…" he quickly explains.

"Okay…well I really need to go home and study."

"Okay, I'll call a cab." He says.

…..a…..

I have my notes for every class and I'm dressed for school. I've made a huge breakfast for myself because I really need to think for this. Today is only my fifth period exam. I'm in shorts and a light yellow tank top and a black and why letter jacket. I shovel breakfast and shout goodbye to my entire family because they're all early birds and walk out the door. I have my hair braided. I speed to school and get there a half hour early on purpose and I sit down at my table and study has hard as I can. I barely look up at anyone. "No kiss?" Peeta asks. I kiss his arm without looking up from my textbook. I'm enveloping myself in Chemistry today because that is fifth period. "That doesn't count." He whines. I kiss him on the lips and go back to my textbook. "You need to relax." He says, massaging my shoulders. "Your eighteen years old and you're going to have a heart attack from stress." I wave him off. He stops massaging my shoulders and I sigh, wishing he still was. "Yes or no?" he asks. I nod. "So you're not talking?" he asks. I ignore as he kneads the knots out of my shoulders.

"Brainless, your boy works in a fucking bakery and he knows how to knead. Why hasn't he played with your damn tits yet?"

"She's right." Finnick says.

"He has now both of you shut the hell up." I snap.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, you guys had sex?" Thresh asks. Peeta's grip gets slightly tighter.

He really doesn't like Thresh. "That's none of your business." I reply.

"Oh come on Brainless, at least give us something. Was it gentle? Frantic? Loud? Did you scream his name?"

"Dammit Johanna!" I snap. "Yes to the first one, no to the second one, yes to the third one and yes to the forth one, now shut the hell up so I can study."

"Are you on the pill?" She asks. Peeta's hands freeze for a second as both of us remember that we forgot to use protection.

"Are you?" Peeta asks; panic etched in this voice.

"Yes. God dammit you all are pissing me off. I'm trying to fucking study for the fucking test!" I slam my book closed and stand up, pick up my book and storm out of the cafeteria.

PEETA'S POV

I follow her. She sits down at a bench in the dark and gets her phone out and uses it as a flashlight to study. "Kat," I sit down next to her.

She drops her head onto the book. "Peeta," she begins quietly, trying her best to hold back a bipolar attack. "I love you but go away."

"I love you too. I don't want to go away."

"Well in can't fucking study if-" she cuts off after beginning to scream at me. Then she starts crying. This isn't an angry attack; this is a breakdown from the stress. "I'm sorry!" she cries. I pull her into a tight hug. "I don't want to be a bitch; I just can't help it!"

"It's okay. You can get A's on all your exams, I promise." I kiss her forehead.


	13. Chapter 13

I finish my exams on Friday and when I walk out of the building early I'm in tears. Since I have a PTL I can leave. A PTL stands for _Permission to Leave_.

We go to Florida tomorrow. Johanna, Finnick, Thresh and Peeta are sleeping over at my place tonight but they don't have a PTL so they have to stay. I stop at McDonalds and get lunch because I'm starved.

"Where's my food?" Dad asks. He's joking.

Whenever I walk in the door with my own food he asks for his is and I say: "At McDonalds."

I eat almost everything but give him my fries because I don't want them. I go upstairs to pack last minute things and end up passing out on the floor.

….a….

When I wake up, the sun is up. I fell asleep when I sun was up, so it's still Friday.

But I grow confused because I look at the clock and it reads eight thirty in the morning.

_Oh fuck!_

It's eight thirty on Saturday morning! I was supposed to be at the school at five! The bus left two hours ago because we were staying at the school till six.

I am two hours behind them because I fucking slept right through my goddamn alarm.

Oh my god. I call Haymitch because he's the one on the trip.

"Well Sweetheart, deciding to finally get up off your ass, are we?" he asks.

"What do I do?" I ask frantically.

"Is that Katniss?" I hear Johanna in the background. 'Tell her I said she's a fucking ass."

"Johanna said you're a fucking ass."

"Haymitch!" I snarl, standing up. "What do I do?" I demand.

"Well lucky for you," he begins. "The busses are broke down so we haven't gone anywhere yet."

"So I can still come?" I ask hopefully.

"yes." He says. I hang up on him and run for the shower. I don't put on clothes when I get out, I got right to my room and put on a white floral crop top and pull on a see through pink button up tank top and then shredded blue jean shorts and white sandals, run my brush through my hair, roll on deodorant, brush my teeth and spray on sweet pea perfume, toss in every last minute thing in my suitcase and drag it downstairs.

"Can you drive me to school?" I ask Mom.

"I thought you weren't going. That's what you said when I woke you up this morning."

"I don't remember you waking me up. Haymitch said that busses are broke down."

My phone beeps with a text.

Haymitch: _better hurry. They just fixed the busses. If you're coming you need to get your ass here. I'm only waiting ten minutes for you. _

"Please mom?" I ask.

"Alright, but your driving your car and I'll drive it home," I shout goodbye to Dad and Prim and get in my car after shoving my shit in the back. It's a twenty minute drive and I have to get there in ten.

Mom looks terrified to be driving with me. I pull in the parking lot just as the clock hits eight fifty and I'm going so fast I have to press the emergency break. "You need your license suspended." Mom puts her hand over her heart.

I get out of the car and she gets out the other keys for me car. They're loading the busses. Mom gets out too and helps me bring my suitcase and my back pack to Haymitch. He loads it onto my bus.

"Sit in the very last seat on the right side. Your with Johanna." He says.

"Where's Annie?" I ask.

"She's in front of you." he says.

"Okay," i say.

"Be careful, be smart, smile, make sure to wear lots of sunscreen, use your manners." Mom says. She kisses both my cheeks.

"Okay bye," I reply. I get on the bus I'm riding and walk to the back, sitting down next to Johanna. This bus is stainless steel on the inside and there's enough space to lay your seat back and you have your own seat. There are two seats in each row and they can lay back. That's how you sleep. On the back of each seat there is a button the person behind them pushes to bring out the footrest. There is a cup holder on the side and a tray the lifts up. On the window sill there is an outlet.

"What the fuck happened?" Johanna demands.

"I passed out when I got home yesterday and I didn't wake up till eight." I reply. I watch from the window as my mom says something and points at my car. Haymitch exhales and then she goes to my car and comes back with my wallet, phone and keys. Haymitch locks eyes with me through the window and gestures me forward. I stand up and move back to the front and get off the bus.

"That would have been bad." Mom says.

"Yeah, thanks." I reply. I go back on the bus and then we head off. Haymitch is on the guys bus and we have just the bus driver. My phone beeps with a text.

(727) 881-3411: _hey._

Me: _who is this?_

(727) 881-3411: _well I call you Catnip…_

Me: _Gale?!_

(727) 881-3411: _yup, listen, I heard from my mom that you were coming to Florida?_

Me: _yeah, I am. _

I save him as a contact.

Gale: _well I asked because I want to see you. Do you want to meet up?_

Me: _I don't know if I can. I'm going to be in Orlando for a week. We're going to Adventure Island for a bit and then we're going to Busch Gardens and then we're going down to Miami, to the everglades. _

Gale: _oh…do you think that I and my mom and Posy, Vick and Rory can meet you guys at like…Adventure Island and Busch Gardens? _

I'm about to reply when Johanna demands, "Who the hell is Gale?"

"Gale's my cousin." I reply.

"Oh, I thought he was your bitch on the side or something." She says. I roll my eyes.

"Don't be an idiot. You know I love Peeta." I dig my earbuds out from my bag and plug them into my phone. I start the song _Skyscraper _by Demi Lovato and go back to the messages to Gale.

Me: _yeah, that sounds good. _

Gale: _okay, do you have any idea when you guys will be there? _

Me: _no but Haymitch is the assistant Principle and he's taking us there. You should message him, he knows all the info. _

He doesn't message back for a few minutes

Gale: _he isn't answering_

Me: _Okay then, I think you should try Cinna. He's the principle. _

Gale: _okay_

My phone beeps again.

Baby: _so what happened?_

Me: _I fell asleep right when I got home yesterday and I slept all the way through the night_

Baby: _oh…are you alright?_

Me: _yeah, why?_

Baby: _idk…I just worry about you. _

Me: _well…you don't have to…_

Baby: _I know…_

Why are we acting like this?

Me: _are you okay? _

Baby: _not really…_

Me: _what's wrong?_

Baby: _well…_

Me: _Peeta, what's the matter? _

Baby: _well…I miss you. _

Me: _oh...I miss you too. _

…a…

Johanna and I are still awake at three in the morning, watching Netflix while using my hotspot.

I drift off.

…a….

Johanna roughly shakes my shoulder. "What?" I mumble.

"I bought you breakfast." She hands me a blueberry muffin and a coffee from 711.

"How much?" I mumble.

"I'm not telling you. You're not paying me back." She says.

"Thanks," I run my hands over my face and take a long drag of the coffee.

"So what does your cousin look like?" she asks. Everyone else is still asleep and she must have gotten the food from the gas station when we stopped for gas.

"Um…" I search for my phone and find I'm lying on it. I go to my camera roll as I eat and scroll through for that picture of Gale Peeta found. I hand her my phone. "That's from when we were like…twelve." I say.

"Damn," she says. "he's fucking hot. Does he have a girlfriend?"

"You have Blight." I remind her.

"I didn't go out with him…" She says. "I'm moving and I'll never see him again anyways." She insists.

"I don't know if he has a girlfriend."

"Well ask him." She says. I sigh and text Gale.

Me: _I know your probably sleeping but do you have a girlfriend?_

Gale: _why? Are you interested? _

Me: _Gale! _

Gale: _I'm kidding catnip. No I don't, why?_

Me: _my best friend wants in your pants. _

Gale: _nice, what's she look like? _

I scroll through my camera roll to find a picture of Johanna and Annie and send it to him.

Me: _she's on the right._

Gale: _shit, she's hot. Who's with her?_

Me: _that's my other best friend Annie. _

Gale: _who's behind her? _

I look at the picture and see Finnick in the background with Peeta, both of them photobombing.

Me: _the one on the right in the back is Annie's boyfriend Finnick and the one on the left is my boyfriend, Peeta. _

Gale: _nice, your friend is hot, what's her name? _

Johanna is reading everything for me. I'm going to talk her up.

Me: _Johanna Mason. She's eighteen. _

Gale: _nice. _

Me: _shes got big tits too. _

Johanna snickers in my ear.

Gale: _Catnip!_

"He calls you catnip?" she asks.

"Yeah." I reply.

Me: _what! You know and I know and EVERYONE knows that the thing that hooks a guy on the girl is thei tit size. _

Gale: _good point. What's her size?_

"I'm a 32 D." Johanna says.

Me: _32D_

Gale: _holy shit_

Me: _yeah. You would like her. _

Gale: _yeah and her tits. _

Me: _yeah haha_

Gale: _tell he I said she's sexy as fuck and that I can't wait to meet her. _

Me: _I don't have to tell her; she's reading this over my shoulder. _

Johanna and I both start laughing hysterically, making sure to be quiet so we don't wake anyone.

Gale: _shit…are you serious? _

Me: _yeah I am. _

Gale: _oh…hi Johanna _

Johanna takes the phone from my hand and I read over my shoulder.

Her: _hey Gale._

They keep talking and I end up drifting off to sleep.

….a…..

I can't wait. We're in Florida, in Hamilton. It's only five in the morning right now and we're going to Adventure Island today. We'll get to the hotel at eight.

I've been to Florida multiple times because Haymitch lived in Jacksonville but I never got to go to any of the amusement parks.

I realize I am going to fucking boil because it is probably going to be almost a hundred degrees. I'm in jeans and a long sleeve shirt.

I have outfits in my backpack. I look at the front of the bus. Everyone is awake.

Oh well, I don't really care. I unbuckle and move, crouched in front of Johanna. The three of us are chatting excitedly and they don't question me when I pull my shirt off add pull on a white fringed crop top and short shorts.

I put on flip flops and sit back down.

"Why did you change?" Annie asks.

"Have you guys ever been to Florida in June?" I ask. They both shake their heads.

"I've never been to Florida at all." Johanna says.

"Me too," Annie says.

"Well I have. It's at least ninety degrees outside."

"What?" the girl next to us asks.

"Yes, I'm dead serious. Their winters never hit the thirties and if they do then they don't step out the door."

"How do you know?" She asks.

"My Uncle used to live here." I reply. "It's really humid, too."

Everyone starts changing their clothes. We sit for a while.

I see the sign that says _Welcome to Orlando, Florida_.

Everyone starts cheering and screaming from excitement.

We drive for about ten more minutes before pulling into a hotel parking lot. The boys' bus, which we have not seen since we left, is already here. I grab all my stuff and stand up. Everyone starts to file out and I see their shocked expressions at the fact that it's hot as balls. I get off and the heat hits me and makes it hard to breathe. Haymitch isn't bothered by the heat at all and it makes me laugh. Peeta taps my shoulder and I turn around and he grins and pulls me into a hug. "Hi." He kisses me.

"Alright people!" Haymitch gets a blow horn. "Fend for yourselves! You all have your passes for Adventure Island! Call a cab! You guys are eighteen, or almost eighteen, you can fend for yourselves! Now let me give you your room stuff! Be back my midnight, if your late your sent home!"

We file up in a line for a while to get our stuff and then we're sent into the hotel with our luggage to the hotel. Haymitch and Cinna definitely made sure I was happy. I'm three floors from Glimmer, Clove or Cato, although I wouldn't mind being with them. Peeta, Finnick and Thresh are across the hall from me, Johanna and Annie. We go our separate ways.

I take a shower first and then I pull on my bathing suit, which is a white strapless pushup top with an anchor right in between my boobs and white and yellow striped bottoms with the stripes looking like rope. I slide shorts and a simple white t-shirt over my suit and put my hair in a braid, put white sunglasses on my head and put on white flip flops and exit the bathroom. Someone knocks on the door and I pull it open and see Haymitch. He walks right into the room. Peeta, Finnick and Thresh are here and everyone is already ready for Adventure Island. "Listen kid." Haymitch says. "You remember my house in Jacksonville?" he asks.

"Yeah," I reply.

"And how I had two cars?" he continues.

"Yeah." I say.

"I kept the house and one car there." He drops car keys in my hands. "If anyone asks, it's a rental. Fuck up my car and your paying for it." He walks out of the room.

"THANK YOU!" I shout after him. "This car is fucking incredible." I say excitedly.

"I texted Gale and told him to go to Adventure Island and he said he's waiting at the gate already."

"Well let's go then!" I stuff the things I need in my backpack and lead everyone out of the hotel.

I search for Haymitch's car and then press panic. It starts beeping and I follow the noise.

Shit, it's his fucking corvette.

"Oh my god." I run my hand down the side of the car.

"Shit." Johanna says.

"Someone is going to have to sit on someone's lap. It seats five and there are six of us.

"Check it out! You can do math!" Johanna says. I punch her arm and get in the car. Annie sits on Finnick's lap and I go on the GPS and start the car, grinning happily when I hear it start up. I can't help but rev the engine as I pull out of the parking lot. I follow the street signs and everything and park the car carefully in the parking lot.

"Does everyone have their passes?" I ask, digging mine out of my bag. Everyone holds them up. I get out and head for the entrance. The line isn't too long. We get in easily.

My phone beeps.

Gale: _are you here? Posy is ready to kill because she wants to go and ride Paradise Lagoon. _

I'm just about to reply when I see a girl that has dark hair and gray eyes that looks like a Posy much older, last time I saw her she was two and now she's ten. I recognize the three boys and walk over and tap Gale on the shoulder. He stares at me for a second and frowns. "Wait! Holy shit! You're a blond bimbo!" he pulls me into a bone crushing hug, lifting me off the ground.

"Hey! Put me down!" I smack his arm and he releases me.

"Why are you blond?" he asks.

"Because the lady at the salon messed my hair up," I grumble. "And don't call me a blond bimbo!"

"Too late." he says. Aunt Hazelle holds me at arm's length and then hugs me.

"Hi Katniss." She smiles.

"Hi." I smile and hug Rory and Vick and Posy. "Okay, this is Finnick, Thresh, Annie and Johanna, my best friends. And then this is Peeta, my boyfriend." Everyone but Gale looks shocked.

"Hey Johanna," Gale says.

"Hey Gale,"

"Mom can we PLEASE go on Paradise Lagoon now?" Posy asks.

"Alright," Hazelle says. She pulls her three younger ones away, but I stop her and let Rory stay with us, because he's fourteen and doesn't want to be with his even year old brother and his ten year old sister. He looks relieved.

"Where to?" I ask.

"It's hot." Annie says, pulling off her shirt. Johanna strips her shirt and shorts and then so do I. I feel Peeta and Thresh staring at me and Thresh is making me uncomfortable. Finnick is staring at Annie and Gale is staring at Johanna. Rory is just standing there.

"What? Like you guys haven't seen a girl in a bathing suit?" I drop my clothes in my bag.

"I want to go on a ride." Annie says. "Don't they have map things?"

We look around and Peeta walks off to some lady who clearly works here. He asks her something and point at us and she hands him a few maps. I see him say thank you. She nods and he comes back and passes each of us a map.

"I want to go on Runaway rapids." I say.

"Me too," Rory agrees. We all agree to head there. I link hands with Peeta and everyone stands with someone.

"So Catnip," Gale begins.

"What?" I ask.

"Still a virgin?" he asks.

"No bitch," I smack his arm and he feigns pain.

"Ow Catnip, that _hurt_." He's teasing.

"I'll show you what hurts, asshole." I snap.

"Oh you never change." He snickers.

"Yeah, neither do you." I reply. "I'll bet you've never had a girl touch your dick before." I snap. His face reddens and I laugh, knowing I'm right. "That's what I thought. Well don't worry, Johanna'll fix that for you." the only thing in my hand is my phone; everything else is in my bag.

We stop at the lockers and put our stuff away. I keep my phone since I've got the life proof case. "You know, your gonna pay for saying that." Gale says.

"I'd love to see you try and-" he grabs me and throws me over his shoulder.

"Hey asshole, put me down!" I scream. He ignores me and carries me to the fake beach and drops me in the pool. He holds me underwear and I suck water into my mouth. After about thirty seconds I fake falling unconscious.

"Shit! Catnip," he starts shaking my shoulder. I feel myself transferred to Peeta's arm and Gale is probably right next to me. I spit the water in Gale's face and push him in the pool.

"That water feels good." Finnick jumps in. Soon enough, we're all in the water.

"Oops, sorry Catnip," Gale dives under water for a second and comes back up with my phone.

"Oh, it's not broken." I reply.

"What are you talking about?" he asks.

I show him that it works perfectly fine. He dives under water and comes back up with a photo of himself and I laugh at him.

"Let's all take a picture underwater."

We all dive under and take a goofy picture. I set it as my background and we get out of the pool and head for Runaway Rapids.

….a…..

Thresh and Rory walk alone. Finnick has Annie on his shoulders, Johanna on Gale and me on Peeta. I keep dipping down and taking pictures of the two of us, angling it so the sun is in it too. "Wait, let me see." He begs politely. I scroll through the pictures I've just taken and he stops me multiple times.

"This one is my favorite." He says, pointing to one that the sun shoots rays across, I'm kissing his cheek and my eyes are shut and he's got a big goofy grin on his lips and his are angled towards me. "can you send all of those to me?" he asks hopefully. I smile happily.

"Of course," I kiss his cheek again.

Can feel Thresh's eyes on us; well, on me. Not my face though, my chest.

PEETA'S POV

Okay, this really starting to get on my nerves. Katniss is _my _girlfriend. She will one day be the _mother _of _my_ children. She will be _my _wife. Thresh needs to stop staring at her. It's really starting to piss me off.

He _licks _his _lips_ and I don't know if I'm going to be able to stay in the same hotel room with him tonight. I want to hit him upside the head. The atmosphere around the eight of us has grown awkward but Thresh is too busy ogling at my girlfriend to notice. I'm glaring at him and my hands are tightly on Katniss's ankles. Gale loudly clears his throat. "Dude, she's got a fucking boyfriend. Look at someone else." Thresh's eyes snap to Gale's eyes, and Gale stops walking and just stares at him with an annoyed expression on his face.

I knew there was something fishy about Thresh. I mean, sure, he has a crush on her but I think he's got a problem with me. "She should be _mine_ because I've liked her since the third grade."

"Look dude, I know your technically our friend, but I don't like you and to be honest, I never have. Stop staring at my fucking girlfriend."

"I never liked you either, _Peeta. _Katniss should be _mine_." I really want to hurt him.

"Alright," Gale steps in, setting Johanna down. Finnick sets Annie down, too. "Your fucking weird; back off my damn cousin."

"Fuck you." Thresh replies. "You both are weird and stupid."

"Alright Thresh; stop being a creep towards Kitty."

Thresh punches me in the face and Katniss tumbles off my shoulders. Johanna helps Katniss up but Katniss starts shaking her head but I'm way too pissed off to notice. I punch him back.

KATNISS'S POV

I watch as Peeta and Thresh fight. I knew it was coming. Peeta doesn't like Thresh, although he keeps his thoughts to himself. This is not the place to be doing this; fighting like this. There is a ton of little children running around and this is going to terrify them. Gale and Finnick steps in and Gale wrenches Peeta back and Finnick grabs Thresh. Peeta's pissed beyond words. "She doesn't like you; she doesn't want you. Back the fuck off." He snaps.

"How do you know she doesn't want me?" Thresh demands.

"Thresh, shut the fuck up." Johanna finally says, standing up from her kneeling position next to me and Annie, extending a hand to both of us. "She's got a boyfriend and her tits are not yours to look at. She said you could be friends with her if you weren't fucking creepy but you are creepy. She don't like you; Peeta don't like you; none of us like you. Go the hell away before I break your fucking nose." I sit back down on a bench because I think I bruised my tailbone when I fell. They life proof case broke and it shattered my phones screen and now it's like tiny pieces of glass. It isn't Peeta's fault. If he knew I was going to fall when Thresh punched him, I would have been on the ground.

It hurts worse sitting. I stand back up with my arms crossed tightly across my chest. Thresh isn't leaving like Johanna told him to, instead, he is staring at me.

He makes me feel dirty and I really wish I had more clothing on my body. I slowly move behind Gale and Peeta.

"Alright man, I'm not gonna kill him, you can let me go." Peeta says.

PEETA'S POV

I decide I like Gale. He's a good guy, he protects Katniss and makes her happy and he's nice to Johanna and I can tell she likes him. He releases his hold on me and I turn to face Katniss. She is extremely uncomfortable and I eye her phone, and the case is broken and the screen is literally in her hand, shattered. I take everything from her hand and turn to face Thresh. "See what you did? You're paying to fix this and the case." I snap.

"Hell no I'm not."

"Yeah you are dude. You're a real asshole for knocking Katniss off like that. You hurt her, physically and mentally. You're paying to fix this because you were the one that destroyed it." Gale says.

Yes, I really like Gale Hawthorne.

"Katniss, come on. You know you like me more. I can make you feel good." Thresh says. Eyes turn to Katniss, and when Thresh starts looking at her, she moves behind me. Thresh moves closer to me to get to her and I reach behind me with both hands on her wrists. "Please Katniss?" he begs.

"I don't…stop talking to me. Your making me feel…dirty and I really don't want you around me."

"Hear that, asshole? Get the fuck away. She doesn't want you around her." Johanna says.

"She doesn't know what she's saying." Thresh says. He moves even closer.

KATNISS'S POV

_I'm scared of Thresh_, I decide. He's big and he's strong. If he gets me alone he can easily taking advantage of me.

I'm actually terrified of Thresh. He looks at me as if I'm a piece of meat and he is a rabid dog that has not eaten in years. He stares at me as if he's imagining me naked.

My imagination takes over.

"_Stop running Katniss!" he grabs my arm and roughly shoves me against the wall. He's taken all my clothes and he isn't wearing any. He shoves himself inside of me and I push him and scream for help and cry, but these walls are soundproof. He isn't going to stop until he's certain I'm going to be carrying his baby soon. _

Tears sting my eyes. I move my hands into Peeta's and squeeze so tightly I must be cutting off circulation. I bury my head in Peeta's back as tears slide from my eyes and trickle down his back.

PEETA'S POV

I can feel hot tears from Katniss sliding down my back and her hands are clenched tightly around mine. "Thresh, leave." I finally say. He crosses his arms.

"You can't make me." I hear a noise behind me that sounds like a whimper. It's almost inaudible. Gale must hear it too, because he looks behind me and peeks at Katniss.

"Then we will leave. If you follow us we will call the police." Gale snaps. He takes Katniss' right hand and pulls her away. She keeps her head down. Finnick wipes off the tears on my back and him, Annie, Johanna and Rory trail behind us.

….a…..

Katniss won't say why she won't stop crying, but I get to drive the corvette. Haymitch is in the waiting room and he looks at Katniss and then his eyes widen when he sees Rory and Gale. They are his nephews; after all.

"What happened?" he asks.

We all take turns explaining everything. He nods understandingly. "And now she won't stop crying." I add.

"Don't let him touch me." Katniss finally says. She looks up and tears are sliding down her cheeks. "Don't let him get me alone I don't want him to touch me."

She thinks that Thresh is going to rape her. "He won't get you alone Brainless. If he does, kick him in the dick." Johanna says.


	14. Chapter 14

KATNISSS POV

When I wake, the hotel room is deathly silent. I can hear someone breathing heavily next to me. I open my eyes and come face to face, not with Johanna or Annie or one of my cousins or Peeta for Finnick, but with Thresh.  
>Panic floods my veins. He isn't saying anything; he's just staring at me.<br>I remember vaguely that Johanna and Annie were going shopping and that they had asked me to go but I was too tired to reply.  
>I'm in nothing but my bra and underwear. He's staring at me and my hands are trembling because I'm petrified. He got rooms switched. "Hi." He whispers, tucking some loose strands of hair behind my ear. That is something a boyfriend with do. Peeta does that. I sit up and remember I stole Peeta's shirt from his suitcase last night after he's fallen asleep. I slept with it and it's right next to me. I pick it up and pull it over my body and stand up. I can't say anything because it feels like cotton or something has been stuffed in my mouth. Thresh moves closer to me and I walk right to the door and pull it open. He has his hand on my arm. I knock loudly, frantically on Peeta and Finnick's door. Haymitch switched his room. I hear a loud groan and Peeta say, "get the door." And then Finnick groan in response.<br>"Come on Katniss," Thresh says. I push his hands off my hips roughly and he cups my ass. I push his hands again. "Stop it." He says. I hear loudly footsteps and then the door is wrenched open. Peeta is there. He grabs my hand and pulls me into the room, stepping into the hall to close my door before slamming his door in Thresh's face.  
>I'm still tired and I have a feeling he woke me up.<br>"Where did you get that?" He asks, pointing at the shirt.  
>I bite my lip, "I stole it last night."<br>His eyes widen to almost panic. "You were in my suitcase?"  
>"Well...I mean...yes. I'm really sorry." I apologize.<br>"It's okay. Can you um..." His eyes flick to Finnick who looks slightly panicked. "Ask me next time, that's all." He says.

PEETAS POV

I need a new place to hide it.  
>See, the thing is, Finnick and I went out last night and we both god engagement rings for our girls. We're not going to use them just yet. I'm not really for engagement or marriage and I know Katniss isn't. I just got the ring because I want to. Katniss looks guilty. She looks at Finnick before pulling off my t-shirt and crawling into my bed. I lay back down with her and she scoots into my arms and drifts off to sleep. I follow soon after.<p>

...9...

I wake up late, around three. Annie is lying next to Finnick; Johanna is sprawled out in the floor next to Gale who much have shown up a while ago. Katniss doesn't move. She's still asleep.  
>"She looks dead." I comment.<br>"Oh she'll sleep through basically anything." Gale says. "She slept right through a hurricane before."  
>"She is naked?" Johanna asks.<br>"Nah, she's got her bra and underwear on." I pull on mesh shorts and plop down next to Katniss.  
>"Stop moving." She groans. She falls asleep again.<br>"She won't remember that." Gale says.  
>"I know she won't. She sleeps like she's dead." I laugh.<br>Katniss moans loudly just then. "Stop touching me!" She whines.  
>"Katniss, nobody is touching you." I tell her.<br>"Yes! Somebody's touching my thigh." She isn't opening her eyes. I lift up the blankets and then I start laughing.  
>"That's your hand." I reply.<br>"Seriously?" Johanna stands up and moves the blanket.  
>"No it's you." She grabs her own hand and throws it out of the way.<br>"What time did you go to bed last night?" I ask.  
>"Three." Katniss replies. She sits up and stretches. "I'm going to the store. Nobody is coming with me." She stands up, takes my shirt and pulls it on and walks out the door.<p>

KATNISS'S POV

I take a long really hot shower. I'm disgusted with my hair and their has to be a way to get hair dye out. I wash my disgusting hair and shave and wash my body and get out. I towel dry and pull on my strapless push-up, my panties and my white sundress. I add yellow wedges, blow dry and brush my hair and braid it and then walk out of the bathroom, grab the car keys, my wallet and destroyed phone and head out.  
>I stop by Haymitch in the lobby. Other students are littered around. He's sleeping. I walk over and shake his shoulder.<br>"What?" He snaps.  
>"Can I borrow your phone please?" I ask. He digs in his pocket and hands me his phone.<br>"The password is 1,2,3,4." He says.  
>"Okay. Thanks," I walk out of the hotel, unlock his phone and go to the GPS and drive to sprint. I explain what happened and they replace my phone. I crack and get another life proof case because I'm going to miss not taking my phone in the shower with me. I ask them to set it up and they do. I drive to a hair salon.<br>"How may I help you?" The lady smiles.  
>"Okay, so I was at a hair salon at home in Illinois and the lady dyed my hair blond when I just wanted it curled for Prom. My hair is naturally like this-" I find a picture of my other hair and show it to her. Her eyes widen. "Is there like soap or something that I can use to get it out?" I ask.<br>"There are a few ways you can get it out," she begins. "You can make a paste out of vitamin A or C tablets but that's expensive. You can get hair color remover. You can get dandruff shampoo and baking soda and mix them together and wash your hair about...six times. If it's not out then, just keep washing it. Let's see...you can get washing power for clothing and wet your hair and put it on but...that's a bit difficult. You can wash your hair with dish soap and then use a hot oil treatment. You can bleach it and dye it back to it's normal color. Or you can do a lemon rinse." She says.  
>"I'm gonna try the dandruff shampoo and baking soda. Thank you," I smile and walk out of the store and go to the grocery store.<br>I end up getting a ton of food, and then I get the Johnson and Johnson's dandruff shampoo and baking soda and I get plastic utensils and cups and plates and use the GPS to drive back to the hotel.  
>"Where have you been?" Johanna demands. I put the groceries in our fridge and now I have my phone and the shampoo and the baking soda.<br>"Shopping, listen-"  
>"You didn't even invite us!" Annie gasps. "You trader!"<br>I laugh easily, "I went to the fucking grocery store."  
>"What's up with the soap and that baking soda and the plastic cup and the spoon?" Peeta asks.<br>"You'll see. I'm taking your bathroom for a while." I go in and slam the door.

...9.9...

PEETAS POV

I wake up to someone shaking my shoulder roughly. "Wake up Loverboy. Brainless is doing something." Johanna says. I force myself to wake to see Katniss standing there with a satisfied look on her face, her hair wrapped up in a towel.  
>"Ready guys?" Katniss asks, bouncing excitedly on the balls of her feet.<br>"Whatever." Johanna says. She pulls the towel off her head and all of us gasp. Her hair is her natural brown color.  
>"There's my cousin! Now I can't call you blond bimbo anymore." Gale frowns.<br>"How you do it?" Johanna looks interested.  
>"I got dandruff shampoo and baking soda and I mixed them together and washed my hair and ton of times and now it's back to normal!" She smiles proudly.<br>"Does it smell like shit though?" Johanna questions.  
>Katniss takes a lock of hair and sniffs it and then she shakes her head. "No." She pushes my legs open and sits down right between then, resting back against me. She reaches for both of my hands and entwines them, and rests them on his stomach. The feeling of her pressed up against my groin sends heat throughout my body, and before I know it, I've grown hard against her back. She begins to fidget and then I think she must realize what it is. She snickers and shakes her head.<br>"What's funny?" Gale demands.  
>I silently pray she isn't going to embarrass me. Katniss frowns.<br>"What do you mean?" She asks innocently. I breathe out slowly in relief.  
>"You just snickered Catnip. What was funny?"<br>She frowns again. "Gale I did not." She's faking confusion.  
>"Yes you did." He argues. She exhales and runs her fingers, still locked with mine through her hair.<br>"Alright Gale, keep telling yourself that." She says. Slowly, I release her right hand and start playing with her hair. I try and fail at braiding. I release her left hand, too, and she sighs. I keep trying to braid her hair, and before I know it, she has a huge knot instead of a braid. I sigh, defeated, and give up, dropping her hair. She reaches behind her and starts to run her fingers through the knot before it's completely gone. She reaches for my hands again. I give her my left hand and tangle my fingers in her wavy chocolate locks. I don't think she realizes that she's rested her hand literally right on top of her breast. I see girls do that all the time. It's comfortable for them, I guess, but to me, god dammit I wish we were alone. She shifts clueless and sighs softly. Slowly, I release her hand. She reaches for it again, but I pull away. She sits up and turns to face me, her legs crossed, resting against mine. She's in a dress, and I can clearly see her white panties. She makes no move to adjust herself. Her legs are on mine and she's just staring at me with a annoyed expression on her face. I smirk and raise my eyebrows slightly, asking her 'what's the matter?' and she arches her eyebrows back at me as if saying 'stop pulling away'.  
>She links our hands again and lays back down. Again, my hands are right on her chest, and I start to wonder if she's doing it on purpose.<br>Is she trying to torture me? I pull away again and she sighs sharply and sits up to face me again. Johanna looks at us for a moment and looks back to the TV, clearly showing she doesn't care. "What?" I ask.  
>"Stop pulling away, please." She says. I reach for her and pull her ear next to my lips.<br>"Your killing me. Your putting your hands right on your chest and it's driving me crazy." I whisper. She backs up for a moment, her face inches to mine. She lowers herself right down on top of me and stares into my eyes for a long time.  
>"But you like it." She murmurs, a smirk tugging her lips upward.<br>"Way too much," I whisper back. My groin is right over her panties, probably right at the waistband. She shifts and once again, I grow hard against her. Her eyes darken slightly and then she scoots back down and reaches for my hands, putting her hands on her stomach for this time.  
>My hands twitch as I stare at her beautiful hair, and I pull away again. She sighs and shakes her head slightly, and laughs softly. I try braiding her hair again.<br>I give up, sighing in failure.  
>I don't know how she does it without a mirror.<p>

Actually, I do.

Because Katniss is perfect.

**I didn't think I was going to get to post today because I made confirmation. (It's a Catholic thing) and then I had a ton of homework. **


	15. Chapter 15

KATNISS'S POV

"Peeta-"  
>"I can't." He crosses his arms stubbornly.<br>"You can. You can do anything you put your mind to." I put my hand over his reassuringly.  
>"It's impossible." He grunts.<br>"Nothing is impossible. You taught me that." I whisper.  
>"Fine. Let's try again." He says.<br>I'm teaching him to braid my hair and we've been going at it for three hours. We're sitting on the beach, alone. Everyone went to Adventure Island again but Peeta and I didn't, we dropped them off and we're waiting for them to call to pick them up. We've been at the beach all day.  
>It's nice; being just the two if us.<br>"Okay, three pieces." I say, separating my hair into three pieces. "Take turns crossing each piece over the middle." He takes my hair in his hand and crosses it over multiple times. It turns into a knot. He sighs.  
>"I give up." He drops my hair. It's dark and there isn't anyone on the beach. He lays down with a thud in the sand. I crawl into his lap and pull him so he is sitting up.<br>"What do you want to do, then? We don't have to do this if you don't want to." I whisper.  
>His hands run up and down my back slowly, rising goosebumps on my bare skin. He nuzzles my neck with his nose slowly and sighs, his warm breath making me shiver.<br>He says nothing, he just holds me in a tight hug. I rest my head on his shoulder. My phone starts ringing and I almost ignore it but I see it's Johanna.  
>"Hey Jo," I say.<br>"Sorry to interrupt your sex," she begins. I hear everyone laughing in the background. "But you need to come get us."  
>"I wasn't having sex with Peeta," I snarl.<br>"So with someone else?" She questions wisely.  
>"Fuck off," I hang up on her and throw my arms around his neck. "I just want to stay alone with you forever." I whisper.<br>"Just a few more weeks Katniss, then we get to spend every single night for the rest of our lives together." He promises, nuzzling my back for a second time. He never does that and I find a sharp intake of breath soar into my lungs.  
>"Mmm, you like that, don't you?" His hands rest on my hips, his grip tightening comfortably as he pulls me closer. "Do you like this?" He plants a kiss on my neck and a soft, quiet noise of pleasure escapes my lips.<br>"Fuck Peeta," I whisper, breathless even though there hasn't been a single thing blocking fresh air from entering my lungs.  
>He laughs, his warm breath hitting my skin as his hands slide down to my ass. "Do I enchant you, Katniss Everdeen?" He whispers.<br>I fucking love when he talks like this. "Mm hm," I manage. He smiles and plants a soft kiss on my lips.  
>"Well that's good news." He stands up and sweeps me into his arms, bridal style as he collets my phone and shoes. "Now let's go pick up our idiot friends. Tomorrow, we can stay back for an hour or longer when they go to Busch gardens and I can touch you where I want to." He kisses me a second time, his tongue darting out to lick my bottom lip for just a moment before he pulls away. "You are so..." He takes a slow, deep breath, a small smile playing on his lips. "Gorgeous." He finishes.<p>

...9...

"What the hell do you think your doing?" Peeta shouts, waking Johanna, Annie and I. Someone's hand is toying with the hem of my tank top, which is pulled up almost passed my bra. When my eyes open, I see Thresh is standing there and he is the one with his hand on my breast, playing with the hem of my tank top. Gale walks into the room just then, having spent the night with the guys. Finnick soon follows. I shove Thresh's hand away from me and pull my shirt down, scooting all the way across the bed and standing up. Johanna is livid.  
>Even Annie, who is always so sweet and innocent is pissed. Johanna rises to her feet.<br>"Dude!" Gale shouts. The guys and everyone else starts shouting at Thresh and he shouts back. Glimmer and Clove wander into the room looking confused. Glimmer makes her way towards me and asks what happened and I explain. Haymitch walks in then, too.  
>He overhears Johanna say 'to wake up with her shirt lifted and your damn hand on her breast-'<br>Haymitch puts two and two together. "SHUT UP!" He shouts. "Alright Thresh, don't fucking touch my niece. Your going home."  
>"Niece?" Clove asks.<br>"Yes, Cinna and I are Katniss's uncles. Don't repeat that."  
>"Wait, really?" Glimmer asks. All of us nod. "Dude your fucking creepy." Glimmer snaps at Thresh. I can tell we woke them up.<br>"Why am I going home?" Thresh asks angrily.  
>"Because your breaking school policy! It's just like we were at school! Don't have any display of affection! And especially since Katniss and everyone else has told you to back off and your not listening. This is considered harassment and your lucky I've not called the police." Cato wanders into the room in his boxers.<br>"What the hell is going on?" He asks. He's cool with us now too. Glimmer, Clove, Cato and everyone aren't really that bad to hang with. We've had lunch with them and a ton of jokes were cracked. Peeta tells Cato and he looks at Thresh in disbelief.  
>"That fuck man? She's got a boyfriend and she doesn't like you. You're a damn pedophile." Cato snarls.<br>"Thresh, I really am not a violent person," Peeta begins angrily, his normally soft blue eyes now pitch black in fury. "But I would really like to see your blood right now. Touch my girlfriend, or even look at her again and so help me god you'll spend some time paying an expensive fucking hospital bill and I'll be doing some time in jail."  
>"Yeah you fucking asshole, don't touch my cousin." Gale snaps. He too, looks ready to kill. Thresh rolls his eyes.<br>"Well I was here first." Thresh argues.  
>"But your a fucking creep," I blurt. I have hardly said a word to him since the incident at Adventure Island. "Leave me the hell alone. I don't care how long you've liked me. I love Peeta, so back the hell off of I'll fucking saw your dick off."<br>"Which means you have to see it." He grins.  
>"No, it means I have to put the damn chainsaw up to your fucking jeans." I snap.<br>"No, you'll have to see it. You'll love my huge dick and you'll get horny and then I can finally get you pregnant like I've planned and you'll have our children and I'll brainwash you into falling in love with me and you won't even remember your pathetic little boyfriend."  
>My mind fogs in blind fury and I know I'm in an angry, violent bipolar attack. Before I know it, Thresh is on the floor, I'm on top of him, his nose is bleeding and I hear a long crack, a howl and them him clinging to his hand. Gale have to pry me off of him, and everyone else is way too shocked to do anything. I feel the attack slip away now that I've let the anger out slightly.<br>I start at Thresh on the floor. "Your pathetic. Don't call my fucking boyfriend pathetic. Now get the fuck out of my face. Go ahead and try and call the police. They won't do shit for you because you were told to leave and you basically sexually harassed me while I was sleeping. I can easily play it off as self defense." I snarl.  
>"I'm sorry." Thresh says.<br>"Don't apologize to me." I snap. He turns to Peeta.  
>"Sorry for saying your pathetic." Peeta purposely shakes Thresh's broken hand and he hisses something in his ear that makes Thresh recoil in fear and leave the room.<br>"Can you let me fucking go now?" I snap at Gale. Haymitch shuts the door and Gale releases me.  
>"Damn brainless," Johanna nods in approval.<br>"When your mother finds out about this she is going to fry you." Haymitch says. "And technically your supposed to go home for this, but honestly, all of you could say out and meet us in Miami and I wouldn't get angry."  
>"Even us?" Glimmer asks, gesturing between her, Clove and Cato.<br>"What do you say sweetheart, you mind if I give them special treatment?" Haymitch asks. I shrug.  
>"Not really,"<br>"So you really don't care about your mom dropping you right into the skillet?" Johanna asks.  
>In answer, I pick up my phone. They don't understand what I'm doing till I say, "Hey mom,"<br>"Katniss honey, how are you?" She asks.  
>"I'm alright," I sit back against the wall.<br>"You sound shaken up honey, what's the matter?" She asks.  
>Shit, she's in such a good mood today... "Mom, are you at work?" I ask.<br>"No, Prim is sick so I'm home." She says.  
>"Oh..." I take a deep breath.<br>"Katniss?" Mom asks. "Honey, what's wrong?"  
>"Well you know Thresh..." I trail off.<br>"Yes," she says slowly. I shift so my head is where my feet should be, then I cross my ankles and prop my feet up on the wall. "What about him?"  
>She's suspicious and I find myself getting nervous. "Uh...um...I-It's r- really nothing..."<br>I have the volume turned up on my phone pretty high so I know everyone can hear every word she is saying. "Katniss Joy," she begins. "You better save yourself the trouble right now and tell me what you did." She says. "Your testing my patience, young lady."  
>"Well I kind of broke his wrist..."<br>All I hear aside from her heavy breathing is silence. Then, "what?" She spits.  
>"Mom-"<br>"You broke his wrist?" She repeats angrily. Then she snaps and I cringe. "KATNISS JOY ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? YOU COULD GO TO FUCKING JAIL!" She shrieks. I chew on my bottom lip. "You were raised better than this! What the hell is wrong with you? Are you...oh my fucking-I can't believe this!" Her breathing is rapid. "Your insane." She snarls. I roll my eyes. Johanna's got her hand over her mouth and she's laughing her ass off and everyone else is just smirking.  
>"Well if you knew the story-"<br>"Oh, I bet I do," she takes a long deep breath. "He said something you didn't like, you started having a bipolar attack and instead of CONTROLLING IT like you were taught, you broke his wrist, is that right?"  
>"Well, partly, but-"<br>"No Katniss, I cannot fucking believe-"  
>"If you would shut and listen to me-" I inhale sharply and shut my eyes and count to ten.<br>"Go ahead." She says calmly.  
>Slowly, I explain everything. She interrupts me multiple times, but stops when I get to this morning. "Promise me one thing." She says. "That he left your room with a bloody nose." I laugh softly.<br>"He did," I say.  
>"Well," she sighs quietly. "That's good news. Katniss I think you and Peeta are too young. Everyone in the family agrees aside from Haymitch and Cinna and the Hawthorne's."<br>"Too young for what?" I ask.  
>"Love. Your eighteen honey, you can't possibly know what love is. I think you need to take a break from him."<br>I'm silent for a long time. "No mother. Clearly Cinna, Haymitch and the Hawthorne's are the only ones with common sense in this fucked up family." I hang up on her.

...9...

Peeta and I don't drag our naked selves out of bed until well past five in the evening. Everyone is at Busch gardens.  
>"Suppose we would go there," He says as he towels dries his hair.<br>Well, I should rephrase. Peeta didn't get his ass out of bed.  
>Me, I'm still laying here, not making a move to get up.<br>"Or we could barricade the door and stay here alone. Forever." I mumble. He's in jeans and the only thing covering me is the blankets. He crawls above me, hovering above me. I run my hands up and down his bare chest.  
>"As amazing as that sounds-" he gives me a slow, long, passionate kiss. "-We can't. Which means you have to get up."<br>I stare at him. "But I don't want to." I cross my arms like a child.  
>"Me either," he kisses me again, trailing soft feather kisses down my jaw to my neck and back up. I slide my hands up his chest and tangle my fingers in his damp hair. He sighs softly and stands up. "Come on, or I'm going to have to force you." He smirks.<br>"Force me." I reply. He walks away for a minute and I hear the shower start and then he comes back and scoops me into his arms. "No! Stop it!" I thrash around and he carries me to the bathroom and force me into the shower. The door shuts.  
>"Your not coming out till your showered!"<br>"Bitch!" I hit the door and he chuckles.  
>"Love you." He says.<br>I sigh. "Technically I should be saying I fucking hate you," I rest my palms and my forehead flat against the door. "But...I don't hate you. I love you, too." I step into the hot spray.  
>Part of me wishes we were older. Everyone seems to think we're too young to know what love is, too young to be intimate and in love. I know mother disapproves of Peeta and I moving in together. She still pictures me as a stupid teenager with no clue how to be responsible.<br>Why do people feel the need to judge? I'm eighteen, and sure, I'm young, but I know how I feel.  
>I'm an adult, and although I may be a young one, I am still an adult. If they're going to give me shit...I'll move and only keep in contact with Prim and Gale's family.<br>I find myself slipping down to the floor of the tub and lying down, letting the warm water beat onto my stomach.  
>Why can't they just be happy for me? I was so, so depressed and broken for years and years. The second Peeta jumped into my life, the depression slipped away like water down the drain as if it never was there in the first place.<br>Didn't my family learn that I'm literally incapable of being without Peeta? When we was away for a week I went loony and nearly killed myself. I can't leave him. Peeta is my entire life and more. He's my whole universe. He's everything to me.  
>And to say goodbye to him because I'm 'too young to understand love' is just pointless and stu-<br>"Kat?" I hear the bathroom door open. "Are you okay?" Peeta asks, concern laced in his voice.  
>"Y-yeah, I'm fine."<br>"Are you sure?" He asks.  
>"Yes, I'm okay." I shut the water off and just as I'm about to get out, a towel is handed to me. I wrap myself up and step out. Peeta stares at me with his blue eyes narrowed slightly. A lump forms in my throat. He's still shirtless and I'm soaking wet but I know he won't care. I wrap him in a tight hug and his arms wrap around me immediately.<br>"Something's wrong." He whispers. A sob escapes my lips and before I know it, I'm breaking down crying in his arms. "Oh baby, what's wrong?" He rubs my back.  
>"M-m-m-m-"<br>"Deep breaths honey, deep breaths." He whispers sweetly.  
>"M-my mom she said that we're too young to know what love is. She wants me to break up with you and everyone else in my family except for Haymitch, Cinna and the Hawthorne's agree." I whimper. His whole body goes ridged. I start shaking my head in his chest frantically. "I don't want to. I don't want to break up. Why can't they just accept that you and only you can bring me happiness? Why can't they just accept that?" I whimper. He starts rubbing my back again. "Peeta I love you. Why would they do that and not let me be happy?" They say they l-love me!" I hiccup. His fingers lock in my hair. "T-they don't love me! T-the-they're f-f-"<br>"Shhhh," he soothes as speaking becomes more difficult the harder I cry. "It's okay. It's okay, Katniss."  
>"F-f-f-fake!" I finish. This has been building up since I got off the phone with my mother. I kept quiet. I was preoccupied the whole time with Peeta and I making love.<br>"Shh baby," he pulls me even closer.

….a….

We're on the bus on the way to Miami and something is bugging the shit out of me and it's making me want to scream and I don't understand. We've been gone for a week and three days now. Glimmer and Clove and Cato have joined our group again. I thought I was going to mind but I don't. "Why are you so damn quiet lately?" Peeta demands, tapping my knee insistently. Haymitch is driving his corvette because, _I love you and all sweetheart, but there is no way in hell your driving my car clear across the state. Not a chance._

"I just feel like I'm forgetting something, is all." I reply.

"What is it?" Cato asks. I scowl.

"If I knew, I wouldn't be saying I'm forgetting it, dumbass." I swat at him and he puts his hand up in mock defense.

"She's got a point." Clove laughs and the rest of us join in. Since this is only a few hour drive; we can ride with whoever we please. I sit, sighing irritably.

"Alright, alright," Peeta gasps, taking my hand in his own and raising it to his lips. "Stop pissing her off. It's not funny anymore." His voice cracks on 'anymore' and I look at him with a deathly glare as he smiles, fighting laughter the best he can.

I mutter a swear under my breath when Gale, who with a lot of prodding and nagging at Haymitch to be allowed to come, 'accidentally' spills his ice cold water all over my lap.

"Sorry Catnip. You seem a bit hot and angry, thought it might cool you off some." Everyone bursts into laughter and I roll my eyes and pop in my earbuds.

Assholes. Everyone is annoying.

Ugh, I hate people.

….a…..

We check into our hotel, and I wake a few days later extremely nauseous.

When is the last time I threw up? When I was like fifteen? I hardly ever get physically sick. Nobody is here, and I find myself racing to the bathroom and emptying my stomach.

What the fuck? I feel fine the second it's out and it's like it was never there.

Everyone snaps into place.

I remember what I've forgotten.

I've forgotten birth control.

I haven't taken that pill since the day after Prom.

I think harder.

_"Brainless, your boy works in a fucking bakery and he knows how to knead. Why hasn't he played with your damn tits yet?"_

_"She's right." Finnick says._

_"He has now both of you shut the hell up." I snap._

_"Whoa, whoa, whoa, you guys had sex?" Thresh asks. Peeta's grip gets slightly tighter._

_He really doesn't like Thresh. "That's none of your business." I reply._

_"Oh come on Brainless, at least give us something. Was it gentle? Frantic? Loud? Did you scream his name?"_

_"Dammit Johanna!" I snap. "Yes to the first one, no to the second one, yes to the third one and yes to the forth one, now shut the hell up so I can study."_

_"Are you on the pill?" She asks. Peeta's hands freeze for a second as both of us remember that we forgot to use protection._

_"Are you?" Peeta asks; panic etched in this voice._

_"Yes. God dammit you all are pissing me off. I'm trying to fucking study for the fucking test!" I slam my book closed and stand up, pick up my book and storm out of the cafeteria._

Oh course I _have_ the pill, but…

I think even harder.

"_Katniss don't forget to take you medicine!" Mom calls when I come racing into the kitchen to shovel down breakfast before heading to school early to study for my exam. _

_I snatch the yellow prescribed bottle with my name on it that says 'Zyprexa'_

_I grab one of the bipolar tablets and dry-swallow it._

"_Good luck!" Grandma calls from the living room._

"_Thanks!" I slam the door behind me. _

I start hyperventilating at I flush the toilet.

I didn't take that pill that morning. I'd been so preoccupied with exams since the Prom and I know for certain I didn't take the pill before I got on the bus after waking up early.

As a matter of fact, I haven't even taken my bipolar medication because I forgot it on my bedroom floor as one of the last minute things.

I'm eighteen! I can't be pregnant! Not that I'd mind. I love babies. They're so sweet and innocent and I've wanted a baby since Prim was born.

But the problem…it's Peeta.

He has never said a thing about children. I don't know how he feels about them, let alone if he wants one for himself. It's physically impossible for the baby that could be growing inside of me to be anyone's but his.

He's going to leave me and I can't let that happen.

If I just get a way to avoid him until I have the kid, then I can place it with a safe family who will love Peeta and I's son or daughter.

If I just get a way to completely adoid him…

That's impossible. If I go home mom will know and if Peeta can't find me he's going to go and look for me.

I can't go to jail because, as much as I love him, and not that he would intentionally tell, but he's got a loud mouth and it's more than likely he'll blurt out something when he's with Johanna like, 'Yeah, Katniss just found out it's a boy!'

And then what? Johanna tells Peeta, Peeta finds out I'm pregnant and he's even more pissed off with me for not at least telling him.

But surely, if he doesn't want kids, he's going to go for abortion.

Abortion is not an option. So…I'm going to have to go somewhere I won't be found.


	16. Chapter 16

**This is the last chapter before the epilogue. I have this amazing new idea. **

I was out of there before ten in the morning. I shoved everything into my suitcase and snuck out through the emergency exit, walked to the airport and bought a ticket home.

The cab slows to a stop in front of my parents' house. I thank the man and pay him and get out.

I wait till it's car is long gone to get in my Ford.

"Oh how I've missed you." I just barely whisper, running my hands slowly along the steering wheel.

My phone beeps.

Johanna: _uh where the fuck are you? Haymitch is having a conniption fit and Peeta thinks Thresh took you and hid your lifeless body in the trunk of a car somewhere. _

I laugh slightly, tears slipping down my cheeks.

I want to answer Johanna but I don't dare, because she will come after me.

She's told me before, that if it realty came down to it, even though she knows Peeta longer, if something pulled the group apart, she would stick by me, and Annie softly agreed.

But this is _different. _

I sit in my car until I'm certain nobody is awake, and creep into the house, up the stairs to my bedroom.

I sneak my bow and arrows from the closet.

I hardly ever touch them.

Way down at the end of Madge's property there's the woods and I used to spend many days back in my depressed state.

I could go out there and hide, but I'm guaranteed to be found there.

I have a few hours before I'll be reported missing.

Well, I have about nine hours, until I've been gone for 24 hours.

Johanna: _dude what the fuck? _

Baby: _Katniss where are you? _

Gale: _Catnip you must have a death wish. Haymitch is pissed and red in the face and he's going to every room and asking if they know where you are. You need to get the fuck back here before Peeta dies and Haymitch has a fucking heart attack. _

PEETA'S POV

By morning and it has been nine hours and it is officially pronounced that Katniss is missing, I find myself in a frenzy, Johanna, Annie, Finnick, Gale, Glimmer, Clove and Cato pacing the length of the girls bedroom.

Clearly, she left. There isn't even a trace of her ever being here.

Her family is aware. My family is aware.

People all over the fucking country are aware because she's on the fucking news

"I bet it was Thresh; the bastard!" Johanna sends the lamp against the wall and it shatters into a billion pieces.

_What if it was me? What if she listened to her family and decided she doesn't like me anymore and decided to get as far from me as possible? _

_I don't know how to live without her. I don't remember life without her. _

KATNISS'S POV

A day and a half later, I park my car in the forest in a meadow, deep, where nobody would bother to look. I get out with my duffle bag.

I've decided to just give birth out here and raise my baby out here.

I could do it. We could be so happy; just my innocent little baby and i.

But…Peeta, I miss him already and it hasn't even been a week.

I wander with my duffle bag and bow and arrows through the forest. I spot a bird perched in a nearby branch.

I'm hungry, oh so hungry. I find the string of my bow pulling backwards and I shoot the bird to the ground.

I'm in a very small place in Washington State. It's a large forest in the country, right outside the town of Dixie, which has a population that has not even hit two hundred.

Whatever, the smaller; the better.

…..a….

I sleep in a tree that night, tied securely in. It's not that bad out here, but I know I can't stay here. When the baby is born, there needs to be something secure.

I've got no service out here so I don't have to worry about everyone guilting me into coming back.

...a…..

JOHANNA'S POV

It's not been a fucking week and Peeta's already refusing to speak to anybody. He doesn't touch his food. We're back at home in Illinois but this time the Hawthorne's are with us.

Prim _won't stop crying_. As much as I like the kids, she seriously needs to shut up.

"I swear to god I'm the only one with my fucking head screwed on." I grit my teeth in anger and slam my hands down on the table. Peeta sits in the corner and everyone else is silent, looking around the Everdeen's living room. "WOULD YOU GUYS STOP ACTING LIKE SHE FUCKING DIED AND GET OFF YOUR ASS AND GO _LOOK FOR HER_?" I shriek.

"You clearly don't understand." Peeta snaps.

"Uh, yeah I do. You guys are overreacting and your being stupid idiots." I hiss. "You guys can fuck off all you want and do nothing and rot away, but I'm going to go and at least _look_ for her. All of you fucking know that's exactly what she would be doing, even if she promised she wouldn't." I walk out of the house, slamming the door.

She's not dead like those damn idiots. The police already knew she flew home from Florida. Last place she was spotted was Nebraska. She's perfectly fine and she was _alone_ and she wasn't harmed.

Whatever is going through her fucked up mind right now is probably a stupid problem that she's developed and she thinks it's going to cause issues. If it was this bad she must really be fucked up.

I mean; I know she's really fucked up but that is beside the point.

...a…

KATNISS'S POV

I'll admit; I'm having regrets.  
>I'm clammy and stuffy and I'm cold in ninety degree weather. I vomit into a bush and I know I'm not pregnant, I'm sick.<br>There is no way I can drive all the way home and I don't have enough money to drive home. I have a dangerously high fever.  
>I hear my phone beep with service it's been about a week I've been gone. I get a ton of messages and missed calls. I hesitate on who to call and decide on Peeta.<br>"Katniss?" Hope is laced in his tone and I can hear demanding voices in the background.  
>"I'm sorry..." I mumble.<br>"Kat honey where are you? You sound terrible..."  
>"Because I'm sick...I'm in a forest in Washington..."<br>"State or city?" He demands.  
>"State." I cough terribly and leave my head against a tree.<br>"So come home!" He says.  
>"I can't." I moan.<br>"Why not?" He asks. "Did someone take you?"  
>"Because I have no money for gas or anything. Nobody took me."<br>"So you left." He says. "Why?"  
>"Because I..." I sneeze and then feel myself get nauseous and I pull the phone away from my ear to throw up.<br>"Katniss?" He sounds frantic. "What the hell?"  
>"I told you I was sick! Peeta, I'm really sick!"<br>"Okay, hang on. Why did you leave?" He asks.  
>"I...thought I was pregnant..."<br>"So you ran off?" He asks.  
>"Let me finish." I sneeze again. I should have fucking called Gale. I don't want to be questioned. "I thought I was pregnant and I panicked and left because I thought...you wouldn't want a baby with me and you would make me abort so I hid and I'm an idiot and I know your mad at me."<br>"Let me get this straight..." He begins. "You thought you were pregnant and you got scared and left. Now you're sick in the forest clear across the country and you have no way of getting home?" He doesn't sound too happy. I sink down against a tree.  
>"I'm sorry." I whisper.<br>"Can you start your car at all?" He asks.  
>"Yes." I mumble.<br>"How full is your tank?"  
>"The gas light is on."<br>"And you didn't think of maybe...never mind. I'll come and get you, I suppose."

...9...

My knees are pulled tightly against me and I'm shivering uncontrobally. Peeta is flying out here. Well he should be here by now. It's almost a hundred degrees out here but I'm still cold.

"Kat?" Peeta asks me. My head snaps up and his flash with vivid worry. "Oh my god." He walks completely over to me, pressing his hand to my forehead. "I'm taking you to the hospital." he says.

"No I'm fine!" I insist.

But I throw up again. "You are not fine." He says, panicked.

"I don't want to go to the hospital!" I moan.

"Katniss you have a dangerously high fever." He says.

"Just get me medicine. I'll be fine!" I beg.

"Katniss," he rests his hand on my forehead and sighs sharply. "Your really, really hot." He says.

…a…

I was sick in bed for two weeks straight, which sucked.

A lot of things stuck.

Like the fact that I missed graduation; that I haven't seen anyone aside from my parents and Prim.

I'm on my way to Peeta's now because I feel so much better, I'm not stuffy, I haven't had a fever and I feel fine.

Rye's eyes widen when I walk through the door. "There she is! Kat, you're alive!" he runs for me, coating me in a hug, the powdery flour on his apron coating me and the air, sending us both into a coughing fit, waving our hands in front of our faces.

"Yeah, yeah, I bet you're sad I'm back," I wave him off.

"No, it's lonely without you and you are the only think that comes out of Peeta's mouth. He misses you like crazy." Rye says.

"Who else is here?" I ask.

"Nobody but Peet, its Thursday, Mom and Dad are out, Graham's with the girlfriend. Thursdays are my day anyways."

"Peeta is here then?" I ask.

"Yeah, he's in the shower." He says. I snicker.

"Good," I rub my hands together. "I'm going upstairs." I brush past him and he follows me.

"Have fun having sex." He says.

"Of course we're not having sex!" I gasp.

"Ha, fuck that." He waves me off. I snicker on the way upstairs.

I can hear the shower down the narrow hallway, and I open the door loudly, the door banging against the wall to announce my arrival. "The fuck Rye? Get out!" Peeta snaps without peeking his head out. I slam the door shut behind me.

"It's not Rye." I reply. He rips the curtain back, not exposing himself, just his head.

"Katniss." He grins. "Feeling better?" he asks.

"Yes." I reply.

"Are you fully better?" he presses.

"Well I haven't had a fever in a couple of days and I feel perfectly fine so yes, I would say I'm fully better." I reply, watching as water drips down his face.

"Good." He disappears again.

Would he be opposed to the idea of me getting into the shower with him? This is Peeta, so I doubt it.

My eyes flick to the door and I slowly creep to it and press the lock. "I'm sorry you missed graduation." Peeta says.

I sigh. "It's okay…I'll have to get over it. It's my fault, anyway." I keep my eye on the shower curtain as I pull my tank top off. "What have you been up to?" I ask.

"Nothing, missing you…" he trails off. I smile to myself as I slide my shorts off.

"I've been missing you, too." I admit. "How was graduation, anyways?" I ask.

"It was awesome. You know, when Cinna said you were sick, some people were crying because they couldn't say goodbye. A lot of people were booing."

I raise my eyebrows as I unclasp my bra and drop it to the floor. "Yeah?" I ask.

"Yes." He replies. I drop my panties.

"Well that's too bad." I step into the shower with him, and his eyes widen as they rake up and down my body. "Rye won't be up here for a while."

….a….

"You take my breath away." He mumbles. We somehow ended up in his bed. His fingers trail up and down my bare back.

"I make you choke from my ugliness." I mumble, although I'm joking, he releases his hold on me and sits up.

"Don't say that." He says seriously. "Your beauty takes my breath away."

"The only reason I'm not dead is because of you." I whisper, my fingertips trailing up and down his bare chest.

"Because Glimmer stopped you." he says.

"I would have killed myself before that." I whisper. "You saved me Peeta. I remember I used to ask why you even cared." I snort. "But I know why."

"Why?" he asks, even though he already knows the answer.

"Because you love me and I love you."

**EPILOGUE NEXT AND THEN THE NEW STORY.**


	17. Chapter 17

"Your twenty two years old; I should not be waking your ass up!" I whisper. "You need to learn to get up on your own."

"Oh, I can get up on my own; I just like it way more when you do it because I feel _incredible_ to wake with your lips pressed against mine."

"What if I do this?" I smack his chest, lightly, of course.

"Then I'll just do this." He takes my face in his hands and kisses me, pulling me so I'm on top of him, sitting on his bare groin.

We're both completely naked. I remember what we were doing last night and a light blush fills my cheeks as his lips move slowly against my own.

I pull away before getting carried away. It _is _Christmas Eve and if we don't get to Peeta's mothers house in the next hour, they'll kill us.

We've lived along for four years now.

"Wait, can I ask you a question?" he blurts.

"You just did." A smirk tugs at my lips.

"Marry me?" he asks. "I planned to take you out and everything but you look so beautiful right now and I just wanted to ask…"

He doesn't ramble about how I don't have to if I don't want to, he just stays silent, searching my eyes.

Marry him? He wants to get married?

"If you say yes," he begins after what must be an eternity of silence from the both of us. "Then we get married." He runs his hands up and down my thighs, running his fingertips high and higher until my come to the curse of my breasts before drifting back down to my knees and back up again. "And if you say no," Pain flickers in his blue eyes. "Then I'll keep asking you. Unless you leave…as long as you're happy…then I'll live."

I continue staring at him. My mind is searching through every single reason that is a no.

I can't think of one.

Peeta saved me, he gave me my life, he took care of me, and he makes sure I come first.

I know he would never leave me.

My phone starts ringing in the living room. We both ignore.

It's a couple minutes after that I start to respond, my hands sliding up and down his chest. His hands continue to slide up and down my front. "Yes." I whisper. "Yes I will marry you."

"Really?" his eyes light up.

"Yes." I whisper. "But we can't have sex. We're already going to be _late_."

"Can we take a shower?" he stands up and lifts me into his arms. "I mean we're taking a shower." He's got me under the spray before I can even think of a protest.

…a…

"You guys are over an hour and a half late." Mother crosses her arms. The judging eyes of all of our families, Johanna and Finnick and Glimmer and Clove and Cato's and Annie's all combined with Peeta and I's are staring at us with challenging, suspicious expressions.

My eyes flick to Peeta's at the same time his flick to mine and then his eyes flick to our hands, my left hand, which contains the ring hidden by his. The silent conversation between the two of us was so remotely small that nobody even noticed it. He nods his head, the tiniest bit. "I know…we got a bit caught up." I hold my left hand out and almost immediately, tears well in her eyes.

"What is that?" Mrs. Mellark shoots forward to grab my hand. Her eyes flick between the two of us.

"Is that _finally_ a ring?" Johanna asks, stepping forward to grab my hand. "Shit, that's nice." She says. "About fucking time Loverboy, you guys fuck like infinity times a day."

My cheeks start to heat up. It's true. We can hardly keep our hands off of one another. If someone else is in the room, his gaze will be on me at one moment and when he looks away my gaze will be on him. And the funny thing is; we don't even do it on purpose.

"Sis!" Rye picks me up and spins me around, high up in the air.

"Hey!" I squirm around in his arms and he purposely drops me on the floor.

"The fuck Rye?" Peeta pulls me to my feet.

"What? She's my _sister_ is my _job _to piss her off."

"Not to drop her on the floor." Peeta snaps.

"Don't fight." I shoot Peeta a warning look.

"Yeah Peeta, don't fight." Rye says.

"Oh wait a moment. If I'm you _sister _then it's my job to embarrass you, right?" I ask challengingly.

"You can't embarrass me. I can't be embarrassed. It's impossible." He crosses his arms stubbornly.

"Alright, in that case, I caught Rye masturbating two days ago moaning about his _best friend _Lexi." I shoot his best friend a look. "But…it doesn't matter, he can't be embarrassed, right, Rye?" I ask.

His eyes are wide and he's frozen like stone.

Lexi shrugs. "About time." She says.

Of course I wouldn't do something like that to Rye unless I knew it wouldn't end badly. I went and asked Lexi what she thought of Rye and she told me he was hot as fuck and he wants his dick inside her. I laugh and she made me swear not to tell. "When did you come into the room?" he asks.

'Yeah, what were you doing in his room?" Peeta narrows his eyes.

"I didn't go into the room. The door was shut, but I hear him go 'ohhhh, fuck Lexi, that feels great!'." I use a deep male moan to quote Rye. "But Lexi wasn't there."

Rye's face goes bright red. "I'll get you back for that." He says.

"I can her back." Graham smirks.

I shrug, "Is this about you catching me masturbating, too?" I ask.

"Yes," he says.

"Well yeah, I mean…obviously. When I want something, I pretend like I've got what I want." I lean back against Peeta's chest. "Who's Cameron, Graham?" I raise my eyebrows. "She your girlfriend? Friend?"

"Friend." He narrows his eyes.

"Well…obviously you wish it was more." I reply. Peeta snickers and rests his chin on my head.

Graham pales. "You're a stalker." He says.

"You were at _our house_ in _our bathroom_!" I say, gesturing between Peeta and I.

"Shit Graham, at least go to your car or something." Peeta grumbles.

"Oh please Peet, like your any better." Rye snaps. "Moaning like crazy in your fucking bedroom yesterday morning.

"There's a big difference." Peeta says.

"About some girl named _Alyssa_." Graham says.

"Bullshit. I was with him yesterday morning because I was the one that was causing it. He doesn't even know an Alyssa."

"Yeah, most times I'm caught, I'm not alone." Peeta defends himself.

Rye and Graham look slightly defeated.

"We'll just get her back another way." Rye and Graham look at each other and charge for me. Thhey wrench me from Peeta's arms.

"Hey!" I squirm around in Rye's arms.

"To the pool!"

"The pool?" I whimper.

We are in Illinois. We haven't moved to Florida yet and I'm not sure we're even going to.

"The pool!" Johanna cackles and everyone grabs their cameras and follow.

"Come on guys, that dress is all she has to wear." Peeta argues. When we get outside, Graham holds me still as Rye pulls off my dress.

"Assholes! Asshole but me down my fucking assholes!" I'm tosses right into the freezing cold water, and it's so cold that I'm literally shaking when I climb out, and I charge the boys and manage to shove both of them in.

I'm angry. "Your going to get frostbite." Peeta says.

"Why do you even care?" I spit.

"I think you answered yourself that question a few years ago.


End file.
